I really need to make it a priority so it is the first thing I do when I sit down a the computer before I get sucked into other things. It is now time for bed, and food tracking feels like a chore.
It has been a crazy day...Gonz's school was closed due to ice melting on the mountain roads, making picking up many of the kids in outlying areas impossible. Jos had school AND he was Mr. movie star today as the Center for Disabilities was doing a piece on him for their telethon, so they followed him around this morning, and then I went down for an interview with them this afternoon. I am looking forward to seeing the finished piece. Josiah is such a charismatic little guy, they loved working with him and he is so excited that he is going to be on TV soon.
I had to drop Gonz off at my dad's house, so he got to hang out with Grandpa and played video and computer games most of the day, so it was a no electronics evening for the kids, as Gonzo had more than enough during the day and Josiah lost his electronics privileges due to out of control behavior at AWANA last night. They played with match box cars, did hide and seek, and had a lot of other fun instead. We also enjoyed Tacos for dinner, with whole wheat and whole corn tortillas.
I made tacos because Jules loves tacos, but she did not want to eat with us...she is now a couple of days without a drink, so is feeling it. Fighting any addiction is hard, AND changing a long standing habit is hard, so her evening was challenging. But she made it through, and went to bed early, around 7:30, which is not that early as she gets up for work at 4:30, so had already had a long day. I am just grateful that she chose to battle her demons and to overcome this part of her life that has held her back from being who she really is and really living a full life. I am glad too that she chose a path that we can continue to walk together. I just could not handle living with an active alcoholic, I have been there and done that, and promised myself and my kids we would never live that chaos again. It is hard enough to live a happy and stable life when you live on so little money facing so many challenges that special needs brings. To add the layer of an addictive partner to it puts it over the top. I know it is crazy, and I had not realized how much of an issue she had with alcohol before she moved in, but I had finally realized I could no longer live with the unpredictability and uncertainty of it all. I know we are still in a rocky area, I know that overcoming this for her will be a hung step, and I know that it may still end with having to part ways, which hurts me at a soul level. but living with eh addictive presence in the household will hurt my kids on many more levels. So waffles before beer....a motto I have been working on adopting to remind me to keep my priorities straight.
But, over all, i had a busy day and evening, and forgot to track my food...
need to work on making that a bigger priority! At least I got a blog post in!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Tracking daily intake harder on weekends
I have found that tracking food is much harder on the weekends...it is that whole routine thing!
I am hoping that today begins a new track in my life, this week may be rough, but if all goes well it will be worth it. One of my stress over the past year or so has been a relationship I got into about a year ago. We have had many ups and downs, but this weekend some things came to a head, and a decision had to be made.
My fiance struggles with alcohol addiction just like my ex did. Though the monster they fight is the same, they are such incredibly different people--both are people of value and are worth having a good life, but I connect much more with my fiance than I did my ex. I can not point to any one reason why. Connection with others is not always easy to describe in tangible terms. My ex has been in and out of treatment programs for the past couple of years, which is good that she is trying to get her life back together and knows that she needs help to do so.
Well, this weekend, as I have said from the beginning I can not handle living with an alcoholic AND i refuse to raise my children in an alcoholic household, but my fiance had been losing control of her drinking more and more, and making promises cut back or slow down. But as longer and longer went by and things did not improve, I had finally made the decision that it was time to make the decision to choose what is best for my kids, which is to live in a stable, alcohol free household. So last night I had a long talk (on top of a number of other talks we have had over the past few months) and I said it was time.
She chose to go alcohol free. so whatever it takes, she wants to be with me, with us, to form this family and build a better life, for herself, for us and for the whole family.
So we are all working on getting healthier, learning new coping skills, and finding more joy and happiness in a health life together--transformation at its best. So while she works on overcoming alcohol addiction and I work on managing my diabetes and overcoming my weight issues, and the kids work on becoming more independent and overcoming their special needs challenges, we will be growing together as a family, and transforming together....it will be an interesting journey!
and tomorrow I get back to better daily food tracking...
I am hoping that today begins a new track in my life, this week may be rough, but if all goes well it will be worth it. One of my stress over the past year or so has been a relationship I got into about a year ago. We have had many ups and downs, but this weekend some things came to a head, and a decision had to be made.
My fiance struggles with alcohol addiction just like my ex did. Though the monster they fight is the same, they are such incredibly different people--both are people of value and are worth having a good life, but I connect much more with my fiance than I did my ex. I can not point to any one reason why. Connection with others is not always easy to describe in tangible terms. My ex has been in and out of treatment programs for the past couple of years, which is good that she is trying to get her life back together and knows that she needs help to do so.
Well, this weekend, as I have said from the beginning I can not handle living with an alcoholic AND i refuse to raise my children in an alcoholic household, but my fiance had been losing control of her drinking more and more, and making promises cut back or slow down. But as longer and longer went by and things did not improve, I had finally made the decision that it was time to make the decision to choose what is best for my kids, which is to live in a stable, alcohol free household. So last night I had a long talk (on top of a number of other talks we have had over the past few months) and I said it was time.
She chose to go alcohol free. so whatever it takes, she wants to be with me, with us, to form this family and build a better life, for herself, for us and for the whole family.
So we are all working on getting healthier, learning new coping skills, and finding more joy and happiness in a health life together--transformation at its best. So while she works on overcoming alcohol addiction and I work on managing my diabetes and overcoming my weight issues, and the kids work on becoming more independent and overcoming their special needs challenges, we will be growing together as a family, and transforming together....it will be an interesting journey!
and tomorrow I get back to better daily food tracking...
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Strategies in weight loss efforts and controlling emotional eating
So, I know we are only about a week past the holidays and routine getting back to normal, but I am noticing a trend in my weight loss efforts... I find that I do quite well early in the day (breakfast and lunch). It may be that the routine during that part of the day is so predictable that it is easy to practice both self control and careful planning. I get up early, get the kids off to school, have about an hour before my nursery school starts, so plenty of time for a healthy breakfast. Nursery school ends at 11, and most days I am home and do writing for the afternoon, so have time to cook a healthy lunch.
As the day gets more chaotic, kids get home from school, and after homework time it gets a little more active in the house. Then my fiance gets home and dinner is going and there is less time to think, so I am more divided in my attention. While most of my dinners I have been planning ahead of time, it does not always work out the way I plan. And I have less will power at night after the kids go to bed. I am working on trying to figure out the best way to make good choices in the evening when it comes to my eating. So far, I think the best strategy is ensuring that I have good snacks available, like lowfat yogurt, fresh fruit, tea (which seems to help more than anything--if I drink a cup of tea when I want a snack, it reduces a lot of cravings and I eat a more sensible snack).
Emotional eating is the big one that I work on, and i am getting better at that, but it takes time and efforts in areas other than food. Some of the things that have helped are:
1) getting a good night sleep every night (I will do an article on sleep apnea and weight control soon)
2) talking out feelings when I have them rather than pretending everything is okay and letting the emotions fester so that I later use emotional eating as a way to deal with them, while this has been a bit hard on my relationship, it has actually been beneficial in some ways as well.
3) planning out meals and snack BEFORE I go shopping so that I know I have the foods in the house that I need to make good choices...it is a little hard when the kids and my fiance eat some things that I should not eat, but that is part of training my self control and emotional strength abilities.
As the day gets more chaotic, kids get home from school, and after homework time it gets a little more active in the house. Then my fiance gets home and dinner is going and there is less time to think, so I am more divided in my attention. While most of my dinners I have been planning ahead of time, it does not always work out the way I plan. And I have less will power at night after the kids go to bed. I am working on trying to figure out the best way to make good choices in the evening when it comes to my eating. So far, I think the best strategy is ensuring that I have good snacks available, like lowfat yogurt, fresh fruit, tea (which seems to help more than anything--if I drink a cup of tea when I want a snack, it reduces a lot of cravings and I eat a more sensible snack).
Emotional eating is the big one that I work on, and i am getting better at that, but it takes time and efforts in areas other than food. Some of the things that have helped are:
1) getting a good night sleep every night (I will do an article on sleep apnea and weight control soon)
2) talking out feelings when I have them rather than pretending everything is okay and letting the emotions fester so that I later use emotional eating as a way to deal with them, while this has been a bit hard on my relationship, it has actually been beneficial in some ways as well.
3) planning out meals and snack BEFORE I go shopping so that I know I have the foods in the house that I need to make good choices...it is a little hard when the kids and my fiance eat some things that I should not eat, but that is part of training my self control and emotional strength abilities.
Food Tracking Jan 9, 2014
Copied from www.sparkpeople.com a great way to track you food intake and get all the nutritional info just by inputting what you eat. It is free and a very cool website.
Here is the breakdown of my food tracking from Jan 9, 2014
Breakfast | Calories Carbs Fat Protien |
| kale, raw, 1 cup ⊗ | 33 | 7 | 1 | 2 |
| Cucumber (with peel), 0.5 cucumber (8-1/4") ⊗ | 20 | 4 | 0 | 1 |
| Apples, fresh with skin, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb) ⊗ | 55 | 15 | 0 | 0 |
| Strawberries, frozen, unsweetened, 1 cup, unthawed ⊗ | 52 | 14 | 0 | 1 |
| Yogurt, plain, low fat, 1 cup (8 fl oz) ⊗ | 154 | 17 | 4 | 13 |
| Regular Coffee, brewed from grounds, 10 fl oz ⊗ | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Half and Half Cream, 1 tbsp ⊗ | 20 | 1 | 2 | 0 |
| BREAKFAST TOTALS: | 336 | 57 | 7 | 18 |
| BREAKFAST GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Lunch |
| Collards, 2.5 cup, chopped ⊗ | 27 | 5 | 0 | 2 |
| Brown Rice, medium grain, 0.5 cup ⊗ | 109 | 23 | 1 | 2 |
| Chicken Breast (cooked), no skin, roasted, 4 ounces ⊗ | 137 | 0 | 3 | 26 |
| Kellogg's Special K Red Berries cereal (1 cup), 1 cup ⊗ | 110 | 27 | 0 | 2 |
| Milk, 3.25%, 0.5 cup ⊗ | 73 | 6 | 4 | 4 |
| LUNCH TOTALS: | 457 | 61 | 8 | 36 |
| LUNCH GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Dinner |
| Freihofer Hearty Double Fiber 100% Whole Wheat Bread, 2 slice ⊗ | 200 | 42 | 3 | 8 |
| Bar S Premium Deli Turkey Breast Lunch Meat, 2 serving ⊗ | 70 | 4 | 1 | 10 |
| American Cheese, 2 slice (3/4 oz) ⊗ | 158 | 1 | 13 | 9 |
| Iceberg Lettuce (salad), 1 leaf, large ⊗ | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, year round average, 2 slice, thin/small ⊗ | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Onions, raw, 1 slice, thin ⊗ | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Mayonnaise, regular (mayo), 0.5 tbsp ⊗ | 45 | 0 | 5 | 0 |
| DINNER TOTALS: | 484 | 49 | 22 | 28 |
| DINNER GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Snack |
| Ashdon Farms (Girl Scouts) Cranberry Nut Mix (1 serving = 1/4 cup = 33g), 0.25 cup ⊗ | 150 | 17 | 9 | 4 |
| SNACK TOTALS: | 150 | 17 | 9 | 4 |
| SNACK GOALS: | 175 - 219 | 22 - 27 | 6 - 7 | 9 - 11 |
Snack 2 |
| Pork Rinds(Pork Skins)(1/2 oz), 1 serving ⊗ | 80 | 0 | 5 | 9 |
| Coca-Cola Classic, 8 oz ⊗ | 100 | 27 | 0 | 0 |
| SNACK 2 TOTALS: | 180 | 27 | 5 | 9 |
| SNACK 2 GOALS: | 175 - 219 | 22 - 27 | 6 - 7 | 9 - 11 |
| CALORIES | CARBS | FAT | PROTEIN | |
| Totals: | 1,607 | 211 | 51 | 95 |
| Your Daily Goal: | 1,400 - 1,750 | 175 - 219 | 47 - 58 | 70 - 88 |
| Remaining Today: | 0 - 143 | 0 - 8 | 0 - 7 | 0 |
Food Tracking Jan 10 2014
Copied from www.sparkpeople.com a great way to track you food intake and get all the nutritional info just by inputting what you eat. It is free and a very cool website.
Here is the breakdown of my food tracking from Jan 10, 2014
Breakfast | Calories Carbs Fat Protien |
| Milk, 3.25%, 0.5 cup ⊗ | 73 | 6 | 4 | 4 |
| Regular Coffee, brewed from grounds, 10 fl oz ⊗ | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Half and Half Cream, 1 tbsp ⊗ | 20 | 1 | 2 | 0 |
| Special K Cereal Bar (23g), Red Berries, 1 serving ⊗ | 90 | 18 | 2 | 1 |
| BREAKFAST TOTALS: | 185 | 24 | 7 | 6 |
| BREAKFAST GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Lunch |
| Chicken Breast (cooked), no skin, roasted, 4 ounces ⊗ | 137 | 0 | 3 | 26 |
| Collards, 2.5 cup, chopped ⊗ | 27 | 5 | 0 | 2 |
| Brown Rice, medium grain, 1 cup ⊗ | 218 | 46 | 2 | 5 |
| Butter, salted, 1 tbsp ⊗ | 102 | 0 | 12 | 0 |
| LUNCH TOTALS: | 485 | 51 | 17 | 33 |
| LUNCH GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Dinner |
| Tuna Casserole (1/6 of casserole), 1.5 serving ⊗ | 362 | 43 | 13 | 28 |
| Cabbage, fresh, 1.5 cup, shredded ⊗ | 26 | 6 | 0 | 2 |
| Olive Oil, 1 tbsp ⊗ | 119 | 0 | 14 | 0 |
| Delmont Fresh Cut Sweet Peas, 1 serving ⊗ | 60 | 13 | 0 | 3 |
| DINNER TOTALS: | 567 | 62 | 27 | 33 |
| DINNER GOALS: | 350 - 438 | 44 - 55 | 12 - 15 | 18 - 22 |
Snack |
| Chips - Doritos - Nacho Cheesier, 1 oz ⊗ | 140 | 16 | 8 | 2 |
| SNACK TOTALS: | 140 | 16 | 8 | 2 |
| SNACK GOALS: | 175 - 219 | 22 - 27 | 6 - 7 | 9 - 11 |
Snack 2 |
| Tea, brewed, 12 fl oz ⊗ | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 |
| Cottage Cheese, 2% Milkfat, 0.5 cup (not packed) ⊗ | 97 | 4 | 3 | 13 |
| Peaches, canned, extra light syrup, 0.5 cup, halves or slices ⊗ | 52 | 14 | 0 | 0 |
| SNACK 2 TOTALS: | 152 | 19 | 3 | 14 |
| SNACK 2 GOALS: | 175 - 219 | 22 - 27 | 6 - 7 | 9 - 11 |
| CALORIES | CARBS | FAT | PROTEIN | |
| Totals: | 1,529 | 172 | 61 | 87 |
| Your Daily Goal: | 1,400 - 1,750 | 175 - 219 | 47 - 58 | 70 - 88 |
| Remaining Today: | 0 - 221 | 3 - 47 | 0 | 0 - 1 |
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Change, slow but sure...
Not really a New Years Resolution, just a good time to get myself refocused as the holidays are over and no major events are coming up soon, so a good time to work on new habits. Making changes can be done at anytime of the year. So I am again focusing on a few things.
The first being my nemesis--weight loss. Focusing on 10 pounds a month for a year (120 lbs total) as my goal. definitely different from my original goal a few years back of 80 pounds in 80 days. I have learned it takes time to develop new habits, and being healthy/working towards greater health is not a race to the finish line, it is gradual lasting changes, and being okay with the cha-cha of two steps forward one step back, repeating over and over again, as long as the overall progress is forward.
The second is setting healthy boundaries in my relationships--my fiance and the issues involved in that relationship, the challenges my children present me with, the conflicts within my extended family, and increasing time given to friends far and wide as I have neglected them quite a bit these past few years.
The third is to really ramp up my income, which has been less than making ends meet since the kids arrived in my life 8 and 7 years ago, and even harder after becoming a single mom to two kids with special needs nearly 4 years ago. The kids needs are now better defined, they have fewer doctor appointments, their school program are working for them (as in the programs are handling their issues appropriately and successfully, not that there are no issues) so almost no mid-day calls with issues from their school programs. So I am ramping up my income earning potential. I am looking at either increasing the nursery school (which only has one student at this point--poor rural area, especially in the winter) or discontinuing it, picking up more freelance writing articles, actually getting back to writing my book and articles of interest, doing the blog on a regular basis, updating my website more often, and exploring services and products to promote that I really believe in.
For blogging, one of my goals is to again post my daily food intake, both to see where I am doing well and where I need to improve...hopefully that will keep me on track better both with my weight/health goals, and with my blogging goals. The other is to really explore helpful hints for those who are, like me, seeking to transform their lives. Some people are able to transform quickly, and others of us make a long process out of it...luckily it is not a race, and each of us transforms and repeats cycles at our own pace, preparing for change and then changing. Slowly but surely, life does transform.
The first being my nemesis--weight loss. Focusing on 10 pounds a month for a year (120 lbs total) as my goal. definitely different from my original goal a few years back of 80 pounds in 80 days. I have learned it takes time to develop new habits, and being healthy/working towards greater health is not a race to the finish line, it is gradual lasting changes, and being okay with the cha-cha of two steps forward one step back, repeating over and over again, as long as the overall progress is forward.
The second is setting healthy boundaries in my relationships--my fiance and the issues involved in that relationship, the challenges my children present me with, the conflicts within my extended family, and increasing time given to friends far and wide as I have neglected them quite a bit these past few years.
The third is to really ramp up my income, which has been less than making ends meet since the kids arrived in my life 8 and 7 years ago, and even harder after becoming a single mom to two kids with special needs nearly 4 years ago. The kids needs are now better defined, they have fewer doctor appointments, their school program are working for them (as in the programs are handling their issues appropriately and successfully, not that there are no issues) so almost no mid-day calls with issues from their school programs. So I am ramping up my income earning potential. I am looking at either increasing the nursery school (which only has one student at this point--poor rural area, especially in the winter) or discontinuing it, picking up more freelance writing articles, actually getting back to writing my book and articles of interest, doing the blog on a regular basis, updating my website more often, and exploring services and products to promote that I really believe in.
For blogging, one of my goals is to again post my daily food intake, both to see where I am doing well and where I need to improve...hopefully that will keep me on track better both with my weight/health goals, and with my blogging goals. The other is to really explore helpful hints for those who are, like me, seeking to transform their lives. Some people are able to transform quickly, and others of us make a long process out of it...luckily it is not a race, and each of us transforms and repeats cycles at our own pace, preparing for change and then changing. Slowly but surely, life does transform.
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