Self-isolating Day 16...

Technically, the first week starting on March 16th was the start of the kids' Spring Break, but the Thursday before everything had started with extracurricular activities being canceled and the start of suggested social distancing here in Florida.  But we did take it seriously.  Being from New York and having lived in both Massachusetts and Connecticut in addition to New York State, we are very connected to people who were and still are in the heavy hit area.  So all of our spring break plans were canceled and we have been hanging out at home.

We have been doing some basic online school since last week (as spring break technically was over) using the online desktops that the school provides for the kids, reading the online textbooks.  One teacher set up an account with individual assignments on iknowit.com for math.  Tomorrow we officially begin quarter 4 distance learning through school.  That is the time that the school distract has been able to give teachers to get online classrooms set up and to decide how they want to run their classes.  So I have been trying to get my high-schooler logged in and set up in the google classroom with the codes sent by his teachers.  My other son is in a self contained special education 8th grade classroom.  While he has been doing the online math, and some reading, I got an email from the teacher saying that some of the students do not have access to online, so she is going to do paper packets for all the kids to make it uniform.  Tomorrow I will go to school and pick up his packet.  She will be available for zoom, email, or text.

Having 2 children with special needs and in very specific special education programs, this transition to being at home has been very hard for both of them.  Neither of them adjust to change well, and though so many people have told me I should homeschool them, I have avoided it becasue I think they need social interaction with peers (though the few times we have done partial years homeschooling, they do well academically because it can be completely tailored to their needs, including breaks and environment).  But I also have avoided it becasue both boys have significant behavioral challenges, and I believe thy respond better to correction and modeling by having multiple adults in their lives that they can turn to.  With just one or two people, the anger and frustration gets focused on those adults.  It can be a challenging situation.  So, my hats again go off to the teachers and support staff that has worked with both of my children at schools, and I am again reminded how hard it is to be one of the few adults that my children can turn to becasue they do not have access to their teachers to get the emotional and social support from them as well.

They need more people in their lives, and we need a break from each other so we can enjoy each other more, and I need a break from dealing with their challenges and managing their needs.  So while I think i could home-school them well, I think from a social and emotional aspect, having more good adults in their lives is very important.  For my own sanity, and probably theirs as well, having more people in our lives is a good thing.  This stay at home time is challenging but we are trying to make the best of it, especially as everyone in this house technically has a condition that would put them in the high risk category. 

So today, I am taking care of the chickens, guiding the kids, trying to keep calm to help my son with brain damage stay stable.  We are enjoying the blessings of the school lunch delivery program: they took away the bus as our route has so few kids that were getting lunch, but the school employee got permission to use her personal car to deliver the lunches to the designated spot--so thank God for her willingness to step up even more than she already was. Today I will be continuing to work on my certification to teach online, and hopefully get that finished by tomorrow and be able to take the exams.

By then hopefully all the background checks will be back, and I can get approved to start teaching ESL online.  I had headed in that direction becasue I need to be available for the kids, and their appointments and needs.  The current pandemic is making it clear to me that having a work from home job again is going to be beneficial.  Its just going to be a hard April as we will have little income for the month, but much of the world is in the same predicament.  And those that are essential employees and having to keep working are at such a higher risk, i do not envy them. 

Hoping that people are able to stay the course, follow the rules of social distancing and only necessary outings, and that this pandemic will begin to slow down, and eventually run its course and be done.  And then we can all recover in so many ways.  I think we will be changed, and I hope it is for the better.

A couple of years later....

Wow...life certainly has transformed in the past couple of years, some through well thought out choices, bravely taking big steps towards change without any guarantees, and some through the ebb and flow to the world around us. 

Often I have thought of reviving this blog, even though I had temporarily changed to a different platform.  This is my original and so to blogger I return. I had switched to WordPress as it is easier to monetize and adapt for money making, but I realized that doing so took something away from my personal reasons for writing.  Of course every blogger would love to have a small residual income off their blog.  But for me, making money is not why I started a blog, nor why I want to blog.  And even if it did not earn a few cents here and there, I would still recommend the books that I do because I think my readers could benefit from them. 

I blog to share my journey, good and bad, with others, as I believe we all can benefit from the perspectives and experiences of others.  While we each need to walk our own journey, we can walk beside each other and learn from each other as our paths cross or our roads travel in the same direction for a time. 

This blog is about transformation--the intentional altering of perceptions and actions to change the experience of life.  It is about trying to live proactively in both big and small ways to make life better, for myself, for my family, for my friends and loved ones, for my community, for my state, for my country, for our species, for the world, for all of creation.  For me this blog speaks to my journey in Tikkun Olam--literally meaning To repair the world (Heb)--a Jewish Concept I learned about may years ago in an amazing class in college taught by Marv Wilson.

The past few years for me have been a time of many changes which has resulted in transformation, some events out of my control, some proactive choices of my own:

• the unexpected death of my former spouse whom had become one of my best friends and an active co-parent of our children in June 2017
• dealing with the many challenges of my youngest sons brain damage combined with puberty, which got very bad in 2017 and 2018
• taking an extended leave from work to try to manage the kids needs and my own health needs in 2018
• reconnecting with my estranged spouse to get a divorce only to rekindle our marriage instead
• finally deciding to move with my children nearly 2000 miles to a totally different climate to be closer to some of my family (which took me very far from other family members who I miss so much)
• Learning to live in Florida when I have always lived in the North-East--a very different climate--both physically (as no "real" winter) and culturally (a bit of shock and adjustment)
• Working with my mother on her doughnut business, taking over while she had and healed from spinal surgery; 
• taking care of my baby niece when my sister worked which was so much fun
• managing with my oldest sons very difficult and lengthy adjustment to our new situation, autism does not lend itself to big life changes
• deciding to try to get back to work as a scientific researcher after a decade out of the field (very thankful to the PI who saw my potential and was willing to let me back in the door
• dealing with my spouses relapse again into alcoholism and all of the chaos and challenges that come with that
• Moving on to a FARM finally, having 2 acres with outbuilding in an agricultural setting, though renting, it is still one of my major goals met
• Becoming overwhelmed by the needs of high needs children, now a high needs spouse, and a high level job with a long commute...
• My youngest needing another surgery with another round of a few wheelchair bound
• The decision to reduce my hours at work to better meet the needs of my kids and reduce my own out of control stress issues which raised my blood sugar and blood pressure to dangerous levels again
• The falling through of the reduction of hours due to trusting verbal agreements about the reduction in hours and not waiting for it in writing before putting my resignation from the full time position in writing, then having the boss change her mind about doing the reduced hours position.
• The sweeping changes and guideline, school cancellations, and social distancing recommendations that made it good that I am home at a time like this

Now, at this moment in history, many human beings are helping other by voluntarily doing nothing--by staying home, by distancing themselves socially, by doing self-isolation--protecting the most vulnerable in our society by limiting contact to prevent and slow down the spread of COVID-19.  While it looks like over 80% of those who contract it recover, a good portion without major complications, the elderly, those with respiratory challenges, heart challenges, and other major medical issues (like diabetes, hypertension, decreased immune response, etc...) are at much higher risk of serious complications which include pneumonia, difficulty breathing, heart failure, and even death. 

While this pandemic will not last forever, and in fact it seems like with proper social distancing could be curtailed within 4-6 months.  I base this on the time from the first diagnosed victim in Late December 2019 to today (March 22, 2020) in Wuhan China (no new cases reported for 4 days), it is hopeful that 3-4 months from initial case to the end of each country's disease load will be in the final stages of recovery.   Hopefully by December of 2020, the world will have recovered from this pandemic, and the grief of the loss of thousands will be beginning to heal.  My hope is that people will also look at their neighbors and strangers in a more positive light, remembering that when it comes down to our communities, most of us have been willing to be uncomfortably sequestered so that we all have a better chance at survival.