Quite a week (lots of pictures--but not of the house)

Okay, so ....

I know I say that a LOT--I never realized how  much I actually say that vocally until about a year ago my son was saying it all the time, and I was like, "where did he get that from" and then I heard myself saying it one day.  Then I realized that he got it from ME.  So ever since then, I have allowed myself to do it in writing because really it is how I talk...

Anyway,  so I got the boys all moved in on Sunday of last week; they both slept in Josiah's room until we could get Gonzo's carpet down.  His carpet went down Monday and was steam cleaned, so Tuesday evening we set up his bed and dresser.  Then I was able to clear out my room, and then Wednesday morning my room was steam cleaned, and I let it dry for two days because it had a LOT of stuff on it (being the only carpet that went through the whole construction, as the others are being put down now) and so it had to be extra cleaned, and thus took longer to dry.  It still smells a little funny, but I am happy to be sleeping in a big bed again, as I was sleeping in a twin bed since we left the apartment 2 months ago. 

Other than that, it has been plugging away at cleaning, putting things away and moving things around to prepare to put down the rugs in the day care/family room and dining room (but all of our boxes and such from the apartment were stored there so it is a lot of moving and sorting and restoring in the garage area.   There is still quite a bit to do, but it is mostly small things that can be fit in here and there.

In addition to the house, Josiah had his elementary Spring concert, and he had some speaking lines--which he did amazingly--he is such a ham, loves being the center of attention, so he really plays it up.  He, and all the kids did a great job singing and saying their lines.  I would post pictures, but alas none of my pictures or video came out well, except the ones I took of Gonzo at the back of the gym when he couldn't sit still while the older elementary performance was on.  SO we toured the kids art work displays in the back during that time.  I did get a couple of pictures of Josiah that came out as I was picking him up in the hall after the concert was over. 















On Thursday, Josiah had his weekly swim time in the evening, and we had an appointment earlier than that with the family therapist.  So in the time we had in between, we went grocery shopping.  While we were there we ran into Josiah's PT that he had had when he was 3.  It was really great to see her, and I am hoping we can catch up with her soon to hear how things are going.  After grocery shopping, there was still an hour before swim time, so I decided he and I needed hair cuts, and we went to our favorite place (Adonis Hair Salon) and were able to snag Brenda, our favorite.  She did a great job on my hair, but Josiah refused to get a hair cut.  He sat very nicely and watched me get my hair cut.  Usually he can be talked into it, but that day he was not having anything to do with it.  So then we went to swim and he did a GREAT job of listening, swimming, and working hard for the whole time.  I got some pictures, as I realized that he has been swimming for over 2 years and I had never taken any pictures of it before.  So here are a couple of my swimming man at aquatic PT.

Here is Josiah after swim on the way to the car, telling me that he needs to take a picture

And here is a picture of me with my new haircut that Josiah took when I gave him the cell phone--of course this is after sitting in a humid 95 degree pool room watching him swim for over half an hour, so the style had slipped some with the heat and humidity.  Still a really good picture for a 5 year old with a cell phone, I thought.  And a nice haircut for me.

CRAZY Week!>>>

This has been a crazy week.  Well the last couple of weeks have been crazy.  Between dentist appointments, other appointments, required trainings (an hour away, six hours a day) for the day care license, and the renovations of the house, it has been absolutely crazy.

The renovations are moving along.  We have the plumbing drains laid out, still need to lay out the actual water pipes, but those are easier.  The framing for everything is just about ready for the framing inspection.  We are hoping to get the plumbing and electric done so that the three inspections can be done at the same time.  After that, up goes the sheet rock, then taping and spackling, painting, flooring and the final inspection.  We have not had as much time as I had hoped to work on it.  I was hoping we would have 4-5 days a week, at least 4 hours each day.  But it has been a lot of hit or miss, with 2-3 days a week, some with short 2 hour days, others with 7 hour days.  I am still hopeful that we will make my deadline of February 15th to be moved out of here and into the new place.  We just will not have a long to move and clean as I had hoped.  I know it might be a bit tight, but I think if we can keep focused, it will happen.  My goal, if my father can be there for most of it as I need his know how, is to finish the windows, the plumbing and the floor joists for the bathroom this week.  Next week I am hoping we can get eh fire wall framing and all of the electrical done (then we can get the inspections done hopefully by the 27th).  With a few extra hands we should be able to get the sheet rock up that first week in February, and most of the taping and spackling.  Then we have about a week to paint and put down carpet to get the final inspection by Feb13th.  Okay, so it may not quite work out that way, but I am hoping.

Today I pick the kids up from school early and we go to see a family therapist.  I have been trying to get us into family therapy for a while, but the one up here just was not very useful, for one she decided that since the kids have counseling at school, she did not think they should participate in our family counseling.  There is obviously a lack of understanding of what school counseling is, as it is not to address overall problems, but rather focuses on specific issues relating to school that need work.  And everything I talked about in addressing the behavioral issues at home, she just said I was doing a great job and offered a few minimal suggestions.  Nothing that really helped look at the dynamics of the family and how the kids special needs and behaviors were impacting each other and the family as a whole,. nor how my interaction with them was impacting my relationship with each one and impacting their relationships with each other.  So we are going down to the nearest city and hour away and seeing if there is a more helpful therapist who can help us create more peace and cooperation in the household, as well as benefit improving behavior at school and other public places.

So, that's all for now...

Just a quick post....

It has been a crazy week!

After a wonderful Thanksgiving feast and celebration at my sister's house, we were supposed to go out to A's family to celebrate Thanksgiving over the weekend, leaving Saturday morning.  However on Friday afternoon, A was over at my house and we were talking about what time we were leaving, as well as discussing Christmas plans and Christmas gifts.  All of a sudden A say to me "Can you get me the number for St. Pete's, I want to go to detox."  It came seemingly out of the blue, but I gave A the number and A called.  St. Peter's Hospital had beds open and if A was ready to get sober, there was room and to come on down.  So after A going back and forth about going down right then or waiting until after we got back from the weekend visit with family, A decided to go to detox, and get the withdrawal from alcohol done.

As it was so last minute, I could not find anyone to watch the kids so the boys came with us, which meant that after driving nearly 3 hours, we waited with A in the ER waiting room until they called A back for intake and tests prior to admitting.  When they called A back, the kids and I started the long drive home.  To many, you may be cheering and not understand my lack of enthusiasm.  It is a wonderful thing for A to take steps to being sober.  And I pray and hope that the commitment and motivation for that path is here now.  But I also have learned that as A has been through both detox and rehab multiple times (to the point that they don't ever refer to rehab anymore as A could teach rehab so there is nothing more to be learned from it), that sometimes it is short lived. 

So we did not go out of town for the weekend.  We did end up doing a lot of running around, visiting Grandpa and our chickens, and then going to Grandma's house for coffee.  We went to church on Sunday, but Josiah was so out of sorts because A was in the hospital (things like that really upset him), that he just could not keep it together for children's church, so we sat in the little lobby area and waited for Gonzo to be done.  He just was very upset and could not control his behavior.  I have to find a way to help him manage his emotions.  Some of it is development as socially/emotionally/behaviorally he is in the 24-30 month developmental range.  So he still reacts to stress and other things as a toddler would--including temper tantrums and very large expressions of emotion without words.  So I have been trying to figure out how to get him to start practicing other ways of expressing himself.  Some of his reactions. actions and behaviors I think are actually habitual more than lack of development, so I have to find ways to help him break into better habits in his behavior.  Overall though, it was a relaxed weekend though, and then the kids started back to school Monday.  Monday A called with the news of being released at 11am.  I said I could not run all the way down and back until the kids got home and even then it was going to be really hard on the kids to be in the car for 5-6 hours on a school night if I could not find someone to watch them. 

then A did something that A has never done before...A suggested that taking a bus up to glens falls (only one hour away) would doable...A suggested this, something that might make it EASIER for me and the KIDS.  Something not entirely confortable for A (but extremely reasonable for the rest of the world), and A suggested it....I feel a bit of change in the air....  So A took a bus up, and then after having lunch at a little bistro, hung out in the library where I used to spend my days while the kids were in school last year.  A few hours later, around 4:45, the kids and I arrived.  It was amazing to see A not complaining about the bus or the wait.  We all went out to dinner at the 99 Restaurant and then did a little Christmas shopping at Target, mainly just to get ideas as the boys can not think of anything they want for Christmas (did I ever mention tthat my kids are a little odd that way--maybe it is because they are not exposed to TV commercials or other forms of advertising...).  So we walked through the toy area and took note of what the kids reacted to the most.  So now I have some better ideas. 

So far so good on the recovery.  A went to an AA meeting on Thursday and had been going to work and is actually eating food again.  I also have not had A calling all the time or being at my house all the time, stopping over to visit yes, but not staying for long periods.  It feel like A is starting to built a life, a sober, more stable life.  It is these little babysteps that allow me to have a slight glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe A is serious about re-entering recovery.  It has been a week, and so far so good.  A made it longer this time then the last time.  Celebrate the baby steps...

Aside from that, this has been a crazy week, we have had to go 45 minutes to an hour away each day. Monday was picking up A. Tuesday after school, Josiah had his pre-op for dental surgery and his pediatrician decided to do his annual physical at the same time AFTER we got there, so our 15 minute appointment turned int o an hour long appointment with a few shots, which he was not happy about.  Wednesday Josiah had an 8:45 appointment with his orthopedic surgeon at the ortho clinic.  Then we had to get his x-rays done for his hips, which we not planned (I should have though as he gets them somewhat frequently to keep an eye on his hips).  So he missed school Wednesday as it was nearly the end of the school day by the time we got back home.  Thursday is Josiah's normal aquatic PT day, which is of course an hour away.  Then Friday both Josiah and I were sick.  I still babysat, but Josiah did not go to school.  Between the shots and all the running this week, his body was just pooped.  He had a cough and a fever, and was miserable on and off throughout the day.  For me is has been a wretched sore throat, the kind that is extremely painful every time I swallow...Josiah seems better today, but my throat is still very painful.  Combined with a stuffy/runny nose and a cough, it is not fun.

Today though Santa is coming to the fire hall, and the Christmas Kids shop is there too.  I have to sign off, get the kids dressed, and get up there before noon, which is when Santa leaves.  As it is 11 now, I better get a move on....

Day 24--Is life really supposed to get MORE topsy turvy when....

Is life supposed to get more topsy turvy when you decide it is time to take steps to make your life better? Maybe that's why they call it transformation?...

I suppose it makes sense, as in order to change and move forward, you need to address all of those things that are holding you back from reaching your full potential.  So when it comes time to move, you have to detach all the lines clinging to you.  Which means that situations will arise that I need to find a way to deal with effectively and gently (neither of which I did this past week), so I can let go of what ever is holding me back and actual move forward. So after a rough weekend and start to the week dealing first internally and then externally (and now both) with some long standing issues, I was hoping for a chance to breathe.

But alas, when I got home last night there were two empty beer can sitting on the table.  As I don't drink beer (or extremely rarely do and NEVER the cheap tasteless stuff) and the only other person who had been in my house while I was gone was A, well it seems that A has decide to make it clear that drinking is still an issue.  I have known it was still going on even though A kept saying "I've been sober since June".  I have been able to smell it on A, and I have seen the empty cans in A's jeep.  But I have chosen not to address it with A as I feel that since we are no longer a couple, it is none of my business if A wants to continue to drink.  It just bothers me that A was drinking in my house (which I am sure was probably happening before as A gets ready there every day and spends a lot of free time there when I am gone during the day), and that A left the cans where the kids could see them.  As I had a bunch of stuff on the table I did not notice them at first.  G sat down to do his homework and he was the one who mentioned them.  He expressed that he knew whose they were, and seemed very sad, as A had promised him that the drinking was done, no more beer. 

I am actually less upset over this than I thought I would be.  In some ways I am relieved because I have not had the energy to bring it up, and have not felt it was really any of my business.  So i left a note thanking A for being honest with me about the drinking, and asked that the cans not be left where the kids can see them.  So, that was a good diplomatic solution, as A is free to live life however A sees fit, and I am also free to live my life the way that I see fit. 

It is a very calming thing to know that you don't have to get upset about actions that in the past had been very upsetting.  We are not together, we are living separate lives, and therefore I do not need to worry how A's actions and choices are going to impact my life (well at least not as much).  I feel an odd sense of peace about this.  So it is not as topsy turvy as I though I was going to feel when I started writing this post about 12 hours ago.  Yeah, I am just getting back to it.  I picked a $30 writing assignment at 11:15am with a 12 hour deadline, and so have had to focus on getting that submitted after the kids went to bed.  It was more work than I anticipated, but i was able to submit the project at 11:07pm.  So i made the deadline and hopefully it will be approved, and I will be $30 richer.

Anyway, I did laundry at the laundry mat this morning after dropping the kids off, so didn't get to the library until around 11:00, and then started this blog before realizing I needed to see if there were any assignments up for grabs.  Which of course, there were and I spent the rest of my morning doing that.  J had aquatic PT today, so my work time was an hour shorter.  He did GREAT at swimming.  I was so proud of him.  His legs are scissoring more even in the water (hip abductors seem to be getting tighter) and the past few days I have noticed it more in his left than in his right, which is not normal for him. So I think its time to see his orthopedic surgeon for a followup and a hip x-ray.  I am praying that the left hip has not dislocated (with the spacticity it is always a concern as the tight muscles and tendons pull on his bones--which is why he has malformed feet even with bracing since he was a baby).  Its been over a year since his last x-ray, which showed some wearing of the socket, and flattening of the ball, which is why we all have been trying to get him UP on his feet as much as possible.  If the hip joints get too far out of shape, his ability to walk will be further compromised.  I know you are probably thinking "geez Heather, don't you have enough going on without worrying about these possibilities?"  but it is not worry, it is awareness of them so that I can ensure that we can proactively address the issues in an attempt to prevent them rather than having to react when something does go wrong.

Okay, it has been a long day (aren't they all) and I have neither read nor watched netflix today--I have been trying to get some free relax time in to soothe my soul, which fun reading in particular does for me.  however my eyes have been tired and burning (too much work on the computer) by the time I go to bed the past couple of weeks, so reading is hard.  In that case I watch an episode of a show (movies are just too long).  But tonight it is time to just crawl in bed and sleep.

Okay on to food for today:
Breakfast was a small (actually real portion size as opposed to the mega sizes you get elsewhere) sausage, egg and cheese on a English muffin from Cumberland farms (only $1.79) when I stopped to get gas.  can you believe these gas prices?!?!Oh and a medium coffee with cream and sugar

I did not have time for lunch today, so when I got home at 4:00 I had a bowl of Cheerios with milk, and then a piece of bread with peanut butter on it.
At 6:30 we had dinner, which was Tuna fish sandwiches, homemade french fries and canned peaches.
I drank 4 cups of tea throughout the evening.  I think I am going to have a small piece of toast with butter before I turn in, as the tea has given me heart burn, which will make it hard to sleep if I don't put something else on my stomach.
I feel like I have been seriously lacking in the vegetable department this past week, which means my kids have to.  that is never good.  I will be planning better.
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