Well, it has been a long time since I have blogged!
UPdate on personal life stuff that I have previously mentioned on this blog:
J is doing well following his surgery a year and a half ago. He was in the spica cast for 6 weeks, then confined to his wheelchair for six months. Finally in late Spring 2015, he was able to start putting weight on his legs again. Bu summer he was running with his walker again. His balance has improved considerably. He can actually stand for over 2 minutes (prior to surgery his record was 18 seconds). His legs are straight for the first time in his life, and his toes point outwards. So it is an amazing improvement. The surgery has increased his standing and walking, however it has created some small problems. He now can not bend his knees all the way, he has lost the ability to crawl and to be independent if he is on the floor. So getting from the floor to stand is a much harder and longer process. If he falls, he often needs help getting back up, which he did not before. And while his ability to stand and walk is much better, his independent mobility (due to lack of ability to move easily while not standing) has lessened. But he is no longer in danger of his hip popping out of joint, and his feet both face forward instead of the left foot pointing behind the right heel when he walked. He also is working on using arm crutches which will open up more places to him than using a walker. He still can not do long distances, so he uses his power wheelchair for things like going for a walk in the neighborhood, going to fairs or zoos, and going to anything that requires a lot of walking. My hope is that by the end of the year, with his improved balance, he may be able to retire the walker and be walking exclusively with the arm crutches. Also arm crutches will be easier to attach to his wheelchair than trying to bring two large pieces of equipment like the walker.
Married life has had a lot of ups and downs. My spouse is battling alcohol addiction which got very bad during the first year after we got married. We are now separated temporarily while my spouse goes through the needed help of rehab. Already finished 2 inpatient stays with some hard times in between, and now going through an intensive outpatient program. It is helping greatly, and just has been taking time to get focused fully on recovery. It is not an easy step for a person to jump from full blown addiction to recovery, but she is now committed to walking the path, and after some sober time and time of self-discovery, we will work with a counselor to heal the wounds that addiction and addictive behavior did to our relationship.
Other things that have happened since my last post 16 months ago, I took a full time job working as a teaching assistant at the same school that my son attends. I work in the preschool building, while J is in the school age building, so we rarely cross paths. I greatly enjoy the work--helping children with special needs has grown into a large passion of mine over the past 10 years. I work in a room where the kids primarily have social/emotional/behavioral challenges that are severe enough to restrict them from being in a regular preschool or even a head start or integrated preschool. So while I deal with many aggressive and disruptive behaviors all day, I love working with the kids. They have so much to offer, and helping them learn how to calm themselves and increasing their impulse control so that they can shine is very rewarding. While some will go on to integrated kindergartens, most will still need more support as they reach school age. So everything we can do to help them at this age can set the stage for them to start their school careers off better.
Alos, during the holiday season the boys and I moved much closer to work. While it was a hard decision, the 60 mile commute (one way, so 120 miles a day!) combined with the roof (horrible leaks that were destroying the ceiling too) and plumbing problems at the house that I could not afford to fix really pushed me to make the move. I still have the house, after all we put so much time, effort and money into the house that I am trying to figure out what to do with it now. Hoping to be able to afford repairs and rent it out The place we moved into is a rental, a duplex. We live in the smaller side, but it is still 3 bedrooms. It is 2 floors, so thankfully, J's new balance allows him to climb stairs, and it is helping to strengthen his legs a lot. The bedrooms and bathroom are upstairs and the living room, dining room and kitchen are downstairs. It is not handicap accessible, though we are trying to get a ramp up the outside steps as there is no railing on the outside steps. It is not ideal, but the benefits to living here outweigh the difficulties. The distance to work saves us all both a lot of time and a lot of money. School is much closer for both of the kids, as neither of them could go to the school in our own community because it was very rural and sis not have the special education programs that the boys needed, so J used to go 60 miles each way to school and G went 25 miles to school each way. Now J and I are only 7 miles from work and school, and G's school is less than 2 miles from the house. We are closer to everything (the nearest grocery store to our old house was 40 miles away and the nearest discount store even further, now they are right in the same town. Doctors, pharmacies, everything is much closer here. Also the neighbors who rent the other side are great. She is my coworker at the school and had told me about this opening up, so it is nice to have a friend right next door. Her husband has helped with getting J off the bus as I work later than the school lets out, and they have been all around helpful and enjoyable neighbors. We are also only 20 miles from my ex, so the kids have a 25-30 minute ride to get there and not and hour and a half.
Many more things happened this year--massive fire that destroyed my father's home (the home I grew up in), someone I love dearly who attempted suicide 4 times in 6 months, proms, graduations, new jobs, and many other things going on in the family, my best friend's wedding, many camping trips, seeing old friends that I have not seen in a long time, so many things that life brings to each of us---many blessings, many challenges to help us grow, and way too much to blog about. Welcome back to my life of transformation.
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