That is my intention, my prayer, mediditation tonight
236000
I send it out to the universe
236000
I am allowing whatever comes to flow to and through me
236000
Monday, March 28, 2011
Day 15--getting back to routine
While today was a little discombobulated with having to go to the salvage yard and turn over the car's title to get paid and then back down to be able to work at the library, overall it was a good day. they boys both had a good day at school, and I got some productive work done on my website. I need to write a couple of articles this evening as they are the bread and butter of my income. And hopefully will be able to finish the page on my website that I started today.
Well on to food journalling:
Water on the ride down
Breakfast at 9:30 am when I filled up the gas tank--A Stewart's Eggwich (Sausage, egg & cheese on a hard roll) and a large cup of coffee (cream and sugar) and a bottle of water
Lunch at 1:30 while driving from library to get J--Vanilla Yogurt (low fat), with instant oatmeal packet and some dried cherries
Snack in car while waiting for G--2 chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of water
Got home and A was at my house and had cooked dinner, so I sampled some ham after I got home. Then dinner was roasted Ham, potatoes and carrots around 5:30. it was very good, and a surprise to not have to cook. While I appreciate A's cooking, it makes me wary of boundaries. but right now I am trying to go with the flow. We are trying to build a friendship and cooking dinner for someone is something a friend would do, so I am just going to appreciate it and leave my negative worries behind. I am letting go, letting go...
I will probably have a snack later. The boys had canned apricots for snack, which J liked but G not so much. I might have a little something later, maybe just a cup of tea. If I do i will come back here and put an update. Well, I best get to writing articles if I am going to have a productive evening.
Well on to food journalling:
Water on the ride down
Breakfast at 9:30 am when I filled up the gas tank--A Stewart's Eggwich (Sausage, egg & cheese on a hard roll) and a large cup of coffee (cream and sugar) and a bottle of water
Lunch at 1:30 while driving from library to get J--Vanilla Yogurt (low fat), with instant oatmeal packet and some dried cherries
Snack in car while waiting for G--2 chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of water
Got home and A was at my house and had cooked dinner, so I sampled some ham after I got home. Then dinner was roasted Ham, potatoes and carrots around 5:30. it was very good, and a surprise to not have to cook. While I appreciate A's cooking, it makes me wary of boundaries. but right now I am trying to go with the flow. We are trying to build a friendship and cooking dinner for someone is something a friend would do, so I am just going to appreciate it and leave my negative worries behind. I am letting go, letting go...
I will probably have a snack later. The boys had canned apricots for snack, which J liked but G not so much. I might have a little something later, maybe just a cup of tea. If I do i will come back here and put an update. Well, I best get to writing articles if I am going to have a productive evening.
Weekly Weigh in Week 2
Okay, so I know you all wanted a picture of my feet on the scale, but alas my camera batteries were dead this morning when I went to take the picture. I WILL buy batteries today and take a pic tomorrow morning to show how incredible just journaling my food intake has been (without being super strict with what I eat--yes I think about what I eat, but as you have seen, I have not really been "dieting").
So dadada, this morning the scale said 291lbs. That is 8 pounds lost from last Monday's weigh in and 14 pounds down from my initial weigh in on March 14th.
So a Total of 14 pounds in 14 days!
So technically I am right on track for my 80 lbs in 80 days.
However, I do know that most of this weight loss is the first stage, which is loss of my stored glycogen. I have written an article (warnign I did not proffread well before submitting it so there are a LOT of typos) on this which you can rad by clicking this title:
Glycogen: The Reason to Rejoice in Losing "Water Weight"
So, as I am probably just about out of stored glycogen (well I know I store new every day, but I am talking the massive amounts I have been hanging on to for a while), now I can start burning stored fat. As fat is more than twice as energetic as glycogen, AND is not stored with massive amounts of water, it is actually going to take more actual effort on my part to keep the numbers going down.
I am just so happy that I am off to a great start. That Journaling my food intake honestly has actually STOPPED me from eating some things when I really was not hungry. These two weeks where I have been focusing more on why I eat and just observing what I eat have been very helpful to me in determining what my negative food habits and negative food relationships are. Because I am now clear that I eat to bury anger, I eat more than I want to even when I am not hungry because I hate to "waste" food, and I have this "because it was there" eating habit going on, now I know three of the primary mental/emotional/spiritual places that I can start from.
I truly believe that aside from those few extra pounds that people tend to gain and lose and gain and lose, if you are overweight, the root of your problem is NOT that you are eating too much--THAT IS A SYMPTOM of a much larger issue in your life. Just focusing on eating less or dieting is not going to bring the lasting change you are seeking. There are underlying feelings, traumas, and buried ingrained ideas and habits that you are carrying that may not be in your best interest. The key to becoming healthy is to recognize that it is ALL parts of you that need to work together.
So I am solidly in a good feeling place, having lost 4.6% of my overall body weight in two weeks. I have a clear set of three non-physical areas that I can consciously work on to support my goal of achieving a healthy body, mind, and spirit. And I have a handful of tools that I can use to work on those areas including:
Prayer and meditation; EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique); Breathing exercises; and Letting Go (I have added a few links on the side to some books and stuff that I find helpful to me in these). UPDATE: I am adding a page to my website so that I don't have a ton of stuff in the margin of this blog. So check out this page Useful Resources to explore futher. (note: I'll take the links down later when I have more time as I have to leave now and have not finished adding links ot the website page.)
I also have spent time researching what vitamins and herbal supplements can help support my body and help control my blood sugar while I go through this transformation process. Supporting Mind, Body, Spirit, and emotions is vital to effecting true change. I am so glad that I have committed to this journey. And I am glad that you have chosen to walk beside me as I go forward! Welcome to my world.
So dadada, this morning the scale said 291lbs. That is 8 pounds lost from last Monday's weigh in and 14 pounds down from my initial weigh in on March 14th.
So a Total of 14 pounds in 14 days!
So technically I am right on track for my 80 lbs in 80 days.
However, I do know that most of this weight loss is the first stage, which is loss of my stored glycogen. I have written an article (warnign I did not proffread well before submitting it so there are a LOT of typos) on this which you can rad by clicking this title:
Glycogen: The Reason to Rejoice in Losing "Water Weight"
So, as I am probably just about out of stored glycogen (well I know I store new every day, but I am talking the massive amounts I have been hanging on to for a while), now I can start burning stored fat. As fat is more than twice as energetic as glycogen, AND is not stored with massive amounts of water, it is actually going to take more actual effort on my part to keep the numbers going down.
I am just so happy that I am off to a great start. That Journaling my food intake honestly has actually STOPPED me from eating some things when I really was not hungry. These two weeks where I have been focusing more on why I eat and just observing what I eat have been very helpful to me in determining what my negative food habits and negative food relationships are. Because I am now clear that I eat to bury anger, I eat more than I want to even when I am not hungry because I hate to "waste" food, and I have this "because it was there" eating habit going on, now I know three of the primary mental/emotional/spiritual places that I can start from.
I truly believe that aside from those few extra pounds that people tend to gain and lose and gain and lose, if you are overweight, the root of your problem is NOT that you are eating too much--THAT IS A SYMPTOM of a much larger issue in your life. Just focusing on eating less or dieting is not going to bring the lasting change you are seeking. There are underlying feelings, traumas, and buried ingrained ideas and habits that you are carrying that may not be in your best interest. The key to becoming healthy is to recognize that it is ALL parts of you that need to work together.
So I am solidly in a good feeling place, having lost 4.6% of my overall body weight in two weeks. I have a clear set of three non-physical areas that I can consciously work on to support my goal of achieving a healthy body, mind, and spirit. And I have a handful of tools that I can use to work on those areas including:
Prayer and meditation; EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique); Breathing exercises; and Letting Go (I have added a few links on the side to some books and stuff that I find helpful to me in these). UPDATE: I am adding a page to my website so that I don't have a ton of stuff in the margin of this blog. So check out this page Useful Resources to explore futher. (note: I'll take the links down later when I have more time as I have to leave now and have not finished adding links ot the website page.)
I also have spent time researching what vitamins and herbal supplements can help support my body and help control my blood sugar while I go through this transformation process. Supporting Mind, Body, Spirit, and emotions is vital to effecting true change. I am so glad that I have committed to this journey. And I am glad that you have chosen to walk beside me as I go forward! Welcome to my world.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Day 14--hair cuts, hydrocephalus, and Anticipating tomorrow's weigh in
Well, the evening went alright. I had to give G a hair cut as his hair was just getting out of control. I had figured I would do a simple trim with scissors, but alas G has LOT of sensory issues with his head. The joys of autism....
So what was going to be a quick trim before bath turned in to a full blown hair cut with the clippers because he moved at the wrong moment while I was trimming and ended up with a nearly bald spot. So then, it was a bit of a wrestling match to get him to sit and calm down so that I could quickly buzz the sides and back of his hair and then a backwards buzz on top to keep the top a little longer, like he likes it. It came out nice, but it takes SO MUCH out of both of us to do a full hair cut. He is okay with the clippers as long as they have a guard on, but terrified of them when I have to take the guard off to clean up the back neck area and his side burns (for an eight year old he has the most amazing side burns--and always has). He is getting better as he gets older, as it used to take one person to hold him and the other person to quickly buzz his hair. We had a friend/neighbor who owns a beauty shop and she was really good with him, though even there we had to double team him. He now will sit fairly still, and let you do it, as he is realizing that it will be done faster that way. But the tickling hair makes his squirm too, more that most people would. Over all though we got a good hair cut and then he got int he shower, which helped get all of the little bits of hair off.
J asked me if I would cut his hair too, but I told him that I am out of energy and I would do his hair later this week. His hair does need a cut, but where G's hair is straw straight like my own (must be the shared Native American blood in us), J's hair is made up of those amazing little, tight spring curls as he is mostly African American. So doing J's hair requires more energy, creativity, and slow work than buzzing G's hair off. And as J does sit patiently while you work on his hair, I enjoy taking the time to think about what style would be good for him. I am really tempted to grow it longer and see what we can do with it, but it is already getting very difficult to pick out each morning, as it forms mats overnight. But both boys have amazing hair. G's is actually darker than J's hair. G has jet black straight hair, and J has dark brown curls.
I had a little cry tonight after the kids went to sleep. Sometimes you just need to cry. I hate it when the kids are sick, it brings back memories of sitting by J's hospital bed during our numerous ICU stays when he was a baby) and wondering if he was going to make it. I had a moment of that tonight, because even though he is getting through this cold/sinus/URI, his temperament has been really off--very moody, very changeable--it makes me worry about his hydrocephalus. I have been trying to find a neurosurgeon closer to here, as his neurosurgeon that did his original surgery and that we have had do all the follow ups is now 8 hours away. So, now that I am 99% sure we are staying here at least for a few years, I think it is time to find a neurosurgeon closer to follow J. I had done some initial contact over teh last few months, but have yet to set anything up. Last year's appointment showed a possible increase in ventricle size, but he was showing no symptoms, so the doc recommended that we seek out someone who specializes in static hydrocephalus to follow him. I have worked on that some (it is not a common speciality). I think I will be working on that more tomorrow, to get him an updated CT scan and in to see a new neurosurgeon. He should not be this moody, even when sick he is usually not moody. And as personality changes, particularly moodiness, is an early warning sign of increased pressure, I am feeling very strongly the need to have him checked out.
I did sit by his bed and pray over him for healing for a while. So I feel confident that the Spirit will lead me to the right people for him. So tomorrow will be productive in that direction.
It is now time to head to bed. I will just update the food journal as to what rounded out my day....
Dinner was Tuna Helper (generic brand) doctored up with left over veggies and some extra pasta.
And my evening snack was 1/2 sleeve of whole wheat crackers with cream cheese.
And I had a cup of tea and a glass of water.
Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in, it should be interesting...
So what was going to be a quick trim before bath turned in to a full blown hair cut with the clippers because he moved at the wrong moment while I was trimming and ended up with a nearly bald spot. So then, it was a bit of a wrestling match to get him to sit and calm down so that I could quickly buzz the sides and back of his hair and then a backwards buzz on top to keep the top a little longer, like he likes it. It came out nice, but it takes SO MUCH out of both of us to do a full hair cut. He is okay with the clippers as long as they have a guard on, but terrified of them when I have to take the guard off to clean up the back neck area and his side burns (for an eight year old he has the most amazing side burns--and always has). He is getting better as he gets older, as it used to take one person to hold him and the other person to quickly buzz his hair. We had a friend/neighbor who owns a beauty shop and she was really good with him, though even there we had to double team him. He now will sit fairly still, and let you do it, as he is realizing that it will be done faster that way. But the tickling hair makes his squirm too, more that most people would. Over all though we got a good hair cut and then he got int he shower, which helped get all of the little bits of hair off.
J asked me if I would cut his hair too, but I told him that I am out of energy and I would do his hair later this week. His hair does need a cut, but where G's hair is straw straight like my own (must be the shared Native American blood in us), J's hair is made up of those amazing little, tight spring curls as he is mostly African American. So doing J's hair requires more energy, creativity, and slow work than buzzing G's hair off. And as J does sit patiently while you work on his hair, I enjoy taking the time to think about what style would be good for him. I am really tempted to grow it longer and see what we can do with it, but it is already getting very difficult to pick out each morning, as it forms mats overnight. But both boys have amazing hair. G's is actually darker than J's hair. G has jet black straight hair, and J has dark brown curls.
I had a little cry tonight after the kids went to sleep. Sometimes you just need to cry. I hate it when the kids are sick, it brings back memories of sitting by J's hospital bed during our numerous ICU stays when he was a baby) and wondering if he was going to make it. I had a moment of that tonight, because even though he is getting through this cold/sinus/URI, his temperament has been really off--very moody, very changeable--it makes me worry about his hydrocephalus. I have been trying to find a neurosurgeon closer to here, as his neurosurgeon that did his original surgery and that we have had do all the follow ups is now 8 hours away. So, now that I am 99% sure we are staying here at least for a few years, I think it is time to find a neurosurgeon closer to follow J. I had done some initial contact over teh last few months, but have yet to set anything up. Last year's appointment showed a possible increase in ventricle size, but he was showing no symptoms, so the doc recommended that we seek out someone who specializes in static hydrocephalus to follow him. I have worked on that some (it is not a common speciality). I think I will be working on that more tomorrow, to get him an updated CT scan and in to see a new neurosurgeon. He should not be this moody, even when sick he is usually not moody. And as personality changes, particularly moodiness, is an early warning sign of increased pressure, I am feeling very strongly the need to have him checked out.
I did sit by his bed and pray over him for healing for a while. So I feel confident that the Spirit will lead me to the right people for him. So tomorrow will be productive in that direction.
It is now time to head to bed. I will just update the food journal as to what rounded out my day....
Dinner was Tuna Helper (generic brand) doctored up with left over veggies and some extra pasta.
And my evening snack was 1/2 sleeve of whole wheat crackers with cream cheese.
And I had a cup of tea and a glass of water.
Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in, it should be interesting...
Day 14--enjoying my weekend
It has been a good weekend with the kids. We have been taking it very easy as we are all still a little under the weather, but improving. Today I spent some time creating a second blog that is connected to my website powerfulconsciousness.weebly.com . I have been working on creating more of an attitude of gratitude to overide some of the negativity in my life, and I decided I would do that publicly now, but on a seperate blog as the focus is very specific. So I will be blogging a daily gratitude list on my blog called Daily Gratitude. You go to my website and click on the Daily Gratitude link at the top.
The kids are napping, well J is napping and G is in bed watching a video and resting. I am going to be listening to one of the Healing with the Masters audio call that I missed earlier this week. If you are interested in healing you should check out this teleseminar series, it is completely free, and I am loving that I can go back and listen to it even if I can't be on the call itself each week.
Okay so food journal for today so far:
breakfast at 7:30am--bowl of All Bran Strawberry medley with skim milk, and a cup of tea
mid-morning snack 10:00am--2 pieces of toast with PB and honey and a cup of tea and glass of water (well 3rd glass of water for today)
lunch at 1:30pm--refried beans with cheese and taco sauce on a tortilla (x2), and water, then some whole wheat crackers with the remaining refried beans and cheese after everyone was done with lunch.
snack 3:15pm--bowl of corn flakes with skim milk and cup of tea
I'll write more later as I want to listen to the teleseminar call I missed before the boys wake up.
The kids are napping, well J is napping and G is in bed watching a video and resting. I am going to be listening to one of the Healing with the Masters audio call that I missed earlier this week. If you are interested in healing you should check out this teleseminar series, it is completely free, and I am loving that I can go back and listen to it even if I can't be on the call itself each week.
Okay so food journal for today so far:
breakfast at 7:30am--bowl of All Bran Strawberry medley with skim milk, and a cup of tea
mid-morning snack 10:00am--2 pieces of toast with PB and honey and a cup of tea and glass of water (well 3rd glass of water for today)
lunch at 1:30pm--refried beans with cheese and taco sauce on a tortilla (x2), and water, then some whole wheat crackers with the remaining refried beans and cheese after everyone was done with lunch.
snack 3:15pm--bowl of corn flakes with skim milk and cup of tea
I'll write more later as I want to listen to the teleseminar call I missed before the boys wake up.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Day 13--post 2
Not a lot to write....
Dinner was fried chicken with boiled potatoes and green beans.
The this evening I had some tea.
Now I am going to bed, not an eventful day. Enjoyed spending time with the boys, reading, playing games, and just spending some quaility time together....I love these days.
Dinner was fried chicken with boiled potatoes and green beans.
The this evening I had some tea.
Now I am going to bed, not an eventful day. Enjoyed spending time with the boys, reading, playing games, and just spending some quaility time together....I love these days.
Day 12--a day of the munchies
The munchies are driving me crazy today, which is not good when you are trying to drop pounds. i can not say that I have had much success in controlling the munchies. It is a little after 4:00 as I write this. Today (between 7:30am and now) I have had:
1 bowl of All Bran Strawberry Medley with skim milk
3 pieces of toast with butter and honey
1 1/2 bowls of oatmeal with brown sugar (not instant, cooked on stove)
3 hot dogs with bread and mustard
1/2 a sleeve of wheat crackers with cream cheese on them
3 cups of water and 2 cups of tea
So I have been grazing all day.
I will be signing my title over Monday to the auto salvage people. My old Ford Taurus Wagon will be going on to a new life. She still starts great, but the transmission is completely gone, like its not even there, so you can start it but it can't go anywhere. i knew it was going for a while, but about 6 weeks ago I was driving J to school and it just dropped out of gear and that was it... No more motion, forward, backward, nothing.
I was greatly blessed within a week to have been lead to another Ford Taurus (not a wagon so harder to transport J's wheelchair, but it works) which I got an INCREDIBLE deal on. And other than needed a new pair of tires soon and an alignment (and for some reason the check engine light came on this week), it is running GREAT. I had been meaning to cannibalize the old Ford as I had put a lot into her, but alas the newer Taurus is quite different, they changed both body and engine somewhere between them, not even the tires are the same size, which is crazy making as I have a brand new tire on the old car, as one blew and I had to get it replaced immediately about 2 weeks before it died.. AND i don't have time to pull it all apart and try to figure out what will be a good fit.
Since I am out of funds for gas to get back and forth this week and have multiple days where I need to add an additional 100-200 miles a day this week, I am hurting for money. So it is time to sell the old car (I will miss her, she was a great car) for a couple hundred dollars and give it to the gas gods.
Anyway I will write more later, I am still not feeling up to par, and while I have a lot to say, I am not up to writing right now.
1 bowl of All Bran Strawberry Medley with skim milk
3 pieces of toast with butter and honey
1 1/2 bowls of oatmeal with brown sugar (not instant, cooked on stove)
3 hot dogs with bread and mustard
1/2 a sleeve of wheat crackers with cream cheese on them
3 cups of water and 2 cups of tea
So I have been grazing all day.
I will be signing my title over Monday to the auto salvage people. My old Ford Taurus Wagon will be going on to a new life. She still starts great, but the transmission is completely gone, like its not even there, so you can start it but it can't go anywhere. i knew it was going for a while, but about 6 weeks ago I was driving J to school and it just dropped out of gear and that was it... No more motion, forward, backward, nothing.
I was greatly blessed within a week to have been lead to another Ford Taurus (not a wagon so harder to transport J's wheelchair, but it works) which I got an INCREDIBLE deal on. And other than needed a new pair of tires soon and an alignment (and for some reason the check engine light came on this week), it is running GREAT. I had been meaning to cannibalize the old Ford as I had put a lot into her, but alas the newer Taurus is quite different, they changed both body and engine somewhere between them, not even the tires are the same size, which is crazy making as I have a brand new tire on the old car, as one blew and I had to get it replaced immediately about 2 weeks before it died.. AND i don't have time to pull it all apart and try to figure out what will be a good fit.
Since I am out of funds for gas to get back and forth this week and have multiple days where I need to add an additional 100-200 miles a day this week, I am hurting for money. So it is time to sell the old car (I will miss her, she was a great car) for a couple hundred dollars and give it to the gas gods.
Anyway I will write more later, I am still not feeling up to par, and while I have a lot to say, I am not up to writing right now.
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