Well, at least old-habits-that-you-had-tried-to-walk-away-from,-thought-you-were-done-with-and-then-fell-back-into die hard...
So, as my last post indicated, I had slipped back-wards again into some poor eating choices and less than stellar exercise choices. That post was like 12 days ago with a major Feasting holiday in there, and though some of my motivation and power of choice has returned, I am still eating weird and not exercising enough. Thanksgiving--like Christmas and my birthday--are what I call "free days."
Free days are days when you celebrate and enjoy the feasting, forget about external restrictions, and savor & enjoy the food that you choose to put into your body (instead of just wolfing down as much as possible--so conscious feasting). This is different from "throwing your health to the wind" or "cheating on your diet" or "unconsciously overeating and seeing how much you can cram in before you are in too much pain to actually breathe". It does mean that you embrace the reasons for the celebration and feasting, that you do not deny yourself of time honored food or foods lovingly prepared by those who care about you, but that you take smaller portions of everything (still filling the plate) and you savor the goodness, the love, the tastiness, and you celebrate it all. And yes, you may end up full to bursting if you are not careful to take small enough portions, but it is a rare day, a day set aside for something other than watching your waistline...it is a day to embrace family and friends, and feast in all Thankfulness (I did finally do a Thanksgiving Gratitude list, which can be found ...by clicking this link). So that day I do not count...
But there have been 11 other days between my last post and now that I DO count as having been days where I have not been as healthy as I would like to be. It has been up and down, many mixed days, with green smoothies giving a boost of healthful energy on that same day that I enjoy a piece of left-over cake filled with ice cream, or chowing on thanksgiving leftovers in all of their glory for lunch on the same day I make a spinach and shrimp stir-fry for dinner, or spending 6 hours super cleaning a few rooms of the house (like spring cleaning (even mopping UNDER the big braided rug and the couch!) but not able to open the windows to air things out because it is too cold outside), the vegging on the couch and watching 3 back to back Sci-fi movies until 2 am. So an interesting mix of good, healthy choices and poor, less than Healthy choices. So, yes, my newer, healthier habits are still hanging on and part of my life, strong even though somewhat in a fledgling stage. but my old, less healthy habits are still hanging on, hanging around--usually rearing their heads later int eh evening. The more my brain and body feel tires, run down, or the stresses of the day have built to a certain point--that is when the old habits, the lure of the old "familiar", the lack of self-love, kicks in...
So, it is a process. It is getting easier, most days, to make healthy choices, to make choices that ACTUALLY make my body, mind, and spirit feel better, feel stronger and healthier. But there is still that part of me that seeks out those things (which for me are "bad" foods, lack of activity, and shutting off my brain with mundane crap) that are "old familiars", that were companions of times when I felt self-loathing, and needed to drown it out. I do not need those old habits, they no longer serve me, nor do they serve my goals and desires for my life. So I continue this slow Transformation process, letting go of old habits as I can, and building new ones. It is not an overnight journey to a new me, it is not the destination that is important, it is this amazing step, by step transformation, where I am learning who I am, and what I can contribute to life.
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