kick starting a buffalo

Okay, so I have not updated much, life, as usual, has been busy.

I have continued to walk every weekday (minus this past Tuesday which was pouring rain, I really need to get a rain coat and an extra pair of shoes so that I can do that), and have gotten in at least 2 miles a day (sometimes as many as 4 miles!).  And let me tell you, there are days that I had to drag myself to the pond against great internal opposition (when I feel sad, I don't like to do anything, and I have had a couple of days that I felt exceptionally emotionally heavy this week).  BUT I made myself go, made myself honor the decision and commitment I made to myself to walk at least 2 miles every day--even if it a plodding, unhappy two miles!!  And you know, walking helps me feel better most of the time.  Out of the 13 days since I started walking (when School started 2 weeks ago), I have had only one weekday that I did not walk, and only one drag-myself-there-and-make-myself-honor-my-commitment-to-myself day that walking did not make me feel markedly better (it did make me feel somewhat better, but sometimes that nagging dark cloud still hands around even when you have walked and gotten your blood flowing).  So I am proud of myself that I have been true to my decision, to stand firm in my decision to walk each day.

As for food tracking, I did well, and then I piddled out some.  I will continue to try to make it a daily habit.  It is more time consuming, and this week, I have been using most of my library hours actually writing articles for pay (which I should be doing right now as I have three assignments that need to be done by tomorrow!), and so have not taken the time to fill out my spark people food tracker or even the exercise tracker.  That I will do today, and will write my articles tonight after the kids are in bed.  I definitely eat more  consciously when tracking food than I do when I have not tracked it in a couple of days.  Conscious eating is important.

This week has been busy.  Monday after school the boys and I picked up chicken feed and took it to my chickens over at my father's house (they were slated to move to my house as soon as the coop is done, which I had planned for this weekend).  However when we went to the coop, a horrible sight met us.  A predator or predators had gotten into the coop and killed almost all of the chickens (we have had a little trouble with predators (weasels, chicken hawks, dogs, etc...) through the spring and summer, but each time it was only 1 or 2 chickens and we were able to find where the problem was and take action.  But no, this time the predator(s) (we suspect bobcats for a variety of reasons) took out BOTH roosters, four of my big hens, and 16 of the young pullets and cockerels (2-3 month old chickens that hatched this spring).  That left one one little pullet and two of the older hens, all quite traumatized.    So Monday evening saw me building a secure makeshift chicken pen at my house and moving the chickens there, and I will definitely be completing the secure, permanent coop this weekend.

So finally, last by not least, I have not had a lot of success in making the scale go down, even with better eating and walking.  So in talking to a variety of people, I decided I do need to do something to maybe kick-start the weight loss process.  I am not into fad diets and such, I have tried a number of them over the years, but without a permanent change in lifestyle.  now that I am making a permanent change in lifestyle though, I am feel discouraged that in nearly 3 weeks, the scale has barely moved.  For a person with so much excess weight, I should be losing easily to begin with.  It is probably an issue related to insulin production, metabolic process, emotional stress (which makes you hold on to weight), and other factors.  One of my sisters said that she and her husband had a wonderful experience with the 17 Day Diet.  It was very cleansing and after the first 5 days, she felt a million times better,and lost that last 5 pounds that had been nagging her, and her husband lost over 25 pounds.  So, as this buffalo of my weight seems to be just content and grazing slowly around the prairie, I have decided to give it a try.  I borrowed the book The 17 Day Diet from the library and as of today, have started on the first leg of the journey.  Hopefully if I can kickstart this buffalo, it will stampede away the blocks that have been limiting my ability to get the scale to come down, and then the healthy changes i am making will have a better chance to take hold.  So, yup trying a short diet to get the ball rolling.  I'll let you know how it goes...

walking...

Walking daily has been a large success.  I have been able to walk over 3 miles each day this week.  I am not a fast walker, which has a lot to do with the discomfort my legs, knees, feet are feeling as I get back into a regular pattern of movement.  I would like to figure out something to do in addition that actually gets my heart and lungs being challenged, as the physical pain at this point does not allow me to push my cardiovascular system to a more challenging level.  I know that any walking is good for increasing health, and does stimulate the cardio-pulmonary system, but I would like to raise my heart-rate a bit more than I am able to.  So I think I am going to try to add in something more strenuous that does not overstress my feet and knees.  I had not realized how weak my legs have been over the past year or so.  But that is another step forward in the changes I am making, and another great goal, another thing to rejoice in as my legs get stronger and more able to increase speed in my walking.

I also realized that my readership dropped off dramatically as I got more depressed over this past year.  They say (yes the undefined "they") that when you are radiating love and light, truth and peace, wisdom and connection that people will be drawn to you, as those are high energies, building energies...and the opposite is also true that if you radiate pain and sadness, sorrow and worry, anger and division that people will fall away.  I see a dramatic drop in page views from over 1500 page views a month in February (the months before that) to around 400 page-views a month now in a steep downward shift month by month since March.  So to those who have continued to follow this blog, thank you for staying with me as I have gone through a difficult period, trying to find the path to transformation as life shifted in ways I did not expect.  And for those who are new readers, welcome, and thank you for joining on this journey towards a better life, a better sense of self, and healthier relationship with God, self, family, friends, strangers, and the global we, as well as better connection with the Powerful Consciousness that is the Divine Energy, with Mother Earth, with humanity, nature, and the cosmos.

Note as of September 9, 2012:
Food tracking on this blog format is very difficult.  So I have switched from using the page on this blog to doing my food tracking on Spark People.  My public page is http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=TRUTHFREES and there is a link to food and exercise logs both near the top on the right hand side (a button) and at the VERY BOTTOM of the page, lower left hand corner.  So If you want to follow my actual food intake and see what I am doing right and what i am doing wrong, as well as my actual exercise tracked each day.

If the link above does not work try going to www.sparkpeople.com and typing truthfrees into the search box.   It should bring up a link to "Transformation" or to "Shared Trackers" for truthfrees, which is my spark people ID.

walking and forming new habits

As I have started driving my son to his school an hour away as of this past Wednesday, I have free time during the day, as I have to stay in the area of his school in case he has a meltdown and needs to be picked up.  So I have returned to my old favorite walking track around a beautiful pond.  The three days ai have driven him this week I have also gone to the pond and walked at least 2 miles each day.  This WILL BE a daily habit, and hopefully as my legs get more used to it, it will be more miles in the same amount of time.

Right now it is painful for my right leg and foot (the left seems fine).  But my shoes are older, though I can't afford new ones right now.  I got a blister on the bottom of my foot, at the ball of my foot--which is really weird, I have never gotten a blister there before.  My heel spur is also acting up on the right foot, and my knee has been stiff and sore--but it is all the process of working out the kinks.  It is like when an old car sits for a few week--when you get it fixed and going again, there are some rust spots on things like the brakes and springs, so you have a lot more squeaks and such as everything gets cleaned off from daily use.  So I think my body is like that.  While I have done some exercise over the past few months, I have not done much sustained walking.   So my body is working out the kinks.

What is nice though, is that walking helps release the muscle knots in my legs, as those seem to be the muscles that knot up on me when I am stressed, and I have been stressed often over the past year.  This is one of the times that I do miss A, as A used to massage out some of the knots in my calves, which is harder to do yourself. Hopefully walking will help work out all of those kinks and keep them from returning.

As of today I am putting myself on a much better diet.  I went to the ophthalmologist yesterday and was there for an hour (longest eye appointment that I have had), and I found out that I have the beginnings of some issues with my eyes (aside from the usual nearsightedness that I have had since I was 9).  So it is far past time that I need to pay attention to my physical health and not let all of the other stresses of life bowl over this very important aspect of my life.  I am using spark people again to track my food and my exercise, which will hopefully help me have better control over what I eat as it tracks not only calories but also major and some minor nutrient amounts.  The exercise tracking will be motivating as it will show not only what I did, it will also show me how I am improving over time.  So, getting back to transforming my life from the physical aspect, as well as some other aspects that are just happening due to changes I have already have to make, will hopefully improve my mood, my abilities as a parent, my sense of self, my ability to contribute to the world,and maybe even my interpersonal relationships.