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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Summer Break...Finally

Well,  one of the interesting thing about raising children with special needs, is that sometimes they have extra things, like six weeks of summer school to keep them on track academically, behaviorally, and with their therapies.  Which means a much shorter summer break for them.  Friday was their last day of school, and on Sunday we headed out to visit A's family.  A's sister recently bought a cottage on the shores of Lake Ontario.  We did see it soon after they bought it, but they were in the process of giving it a lot of the TLC it needed, so it was in disarray and under construction projects to repair and rehab it.  Now it is mostly done (the bathroom is in rehab still, but functional) and we spend Sunday night out there.  I have never spent any time at the Great Lakes, but wow is it similar to the ocean in sound.  The cottage is on a rocky shore, so the waves lapping the rocks reminded me (in sound) to one of my all time favorite places in the world--Bass Rocks in Gloucester, MA. 

Though the waves are smaller, they were still impressive for a lake, a lake you can not see the other side of.  It was beautiful.  However it was a rainy weekend, and the storms from Sunday had the lake very choppy, so it was not really safe to take a swim at such a rocky shore, so the kids did not get to go with with their life jackets.  But we did go down the steps and put our feet in the water sitting on the rocks, we got splashed quite a bit too as the waves sent up a lot of spray.  The kids (and we) enjoyed the deck area overlooking the lake, and some of the waves were big enough to splash us even up there.  hat night, with the windows open, we could clearly listen to the waves, and it was wonderful.  As many similarities as there are to the ocean front, there are as many differences.  It smelled like a lake, and felt like a lake.  As absolutely beautiful as it is, it made me long for my great love--the North Atlantic. 

I found myself longing for the smell of the sea, the call of the gulls, and the "feel" of the ocean.  I miss the ocean, and have for the past 11 1/2 years, as I have only visited.  Even when I lived in Florida, it was the Gulf of Mexico, and though I loved snorkeling and swimming in that warm salty water, I loved even more the idea that the water I was in would eventually reach the North Atlantic, so I felt connected, even in that warm Gulf to the cold shores so many miles away.  I had hoped to take the kids camping this summer out on the North Shore, but alas it appears funds may be inadequate to do that.  Winter is approaching, and my primary source of income has ended.  Summer is winding down (and we are finally in a 3 week of vacation time), and so the window of opportunity is closing.  We have soem other daystuff planned, and may camp out on my Dad's property for a couple of days.  Had my IRS refund come in time, that little inexpensive vacation to Massachusettes would have been one of the things on the list that the refund would go to.  But with this darn audit review, only God know when they will release my refund.

The kids did have fun, and we got to see the baby's (both of A's niece's have little ones now).  We also got to celebrate some of the August birthdays as in addition to Josiah, A's niece S and her daughter M (who is celebrating her 1st birthday!!) are also in August.  So we did a combined birthday cook out at the cottage and had salt potatoes, corn on the cob, hot dogs and hamburgers, and of course cake.  Then Josiah opened a bunch of present from A's family, and we gave our gifts to the others. We finally got to actually meet A's other niece's little son, who is a couple of months old.  He is a beautiful baby.  A said it feels weird to have a new generation starting in the family. I imagine it does, but since A is nearer to my parents age than to mine, it makes sense that they would have the next generation coming up.  Overall it was a very nice visit.  I originally asked A to go without me, but a is nervous about the new job which is starting today, and so did not think that with that stress, could handle the boys alone all weekend in that trip.  So I went too.  It was good to see A's family, though they seem to be under the impression that we are still together, or at least just barely separated.  Perhaps most people think that, as I suppose we appear to be that way, it is hard to let go, and it is hard to find the balance that allow a friendship without being an enabler.  I think we are getting closer, and that it is finally understood between the two of us that friendship is our aim, not reconciliation.

A started the new job today.  I am an optimistic person, but with so many job losses over the past couple of years, it is hard to think that maybe, just maybe, this job will be here to stay and A can get an apartment, move out of my father's house, and actually begin to be self-supporting, have time alone with the kids without me arranging it, and be able to rebuild a life.  We can all hope and pray.  Especially since I am seriously considering moving in with my father as finding a source of income (i.e. a job that works with my children's special needs or enough income generating from writing, blogging, and online clicks/sales) is proving to take a great deal longer than I expected or can really plan for.  The economy is making this harder than expected.  So the possibility of moving in with my father (who has a 5 bedroom house and heats with wood, and only he and my brother live there usually, so there are extra rooms) is a distinct possibility--as long as A moves out (the old "I'll only be there for a month, two tops" thing A said back in January is a little crazy given that it is nearly 8 months...).  But that is just where we are...things to think about...

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