Have you ever had one of those self-conversations that you have out of habit? You know, where you talk to yourself in your head about something? And you have the same thing to say everyday? Okay, so...
I realized I have this little, almost subconscious conversation with my self every time I sit down in the library to start writing. And it usually is the first time I have really sat down (aside from driving) that day, and it goes like this:
{sit down} "whew! Ahh. <sigh>"
{shift a little to get the computer in the right place and my butt in a more comfy spot on the chair} "boy am I so tired."
I was going thru my little ritual this morning, which is the first time I actually noticed it. And I realized that no...nope.....un-uh...I am NOT so tired....
I actually feel more alert and awake today than I usually do...
Well, there is something that is new. That is a step in the right direction.
In a seemingly LONG period of a life in Transformation, changes seem to occur so slowly from my perspective--I'd love to just wake up thin, strong, healthy, happy and at Peace one day. But I am smart enough to know that unless I change both my attitudes and my actions, that is not going to happen. So when I realize that SOMETHING is different, it gives me great satisfaction. I have been taking this transformation of life thing very slowly. Not necessarily consciously, but certainly there were underlying subconscious reasons for my slow progress. After all, we all say we WANT change, but how many of us really do?
I realized this subconscious holding myself back problem a few months ago. But I had not really done much with that wonderful and potentially powerful realizations (stored fat as with stored ideas have LOT of potential, but unless you apply force, they remain un-actualized potential...its the laws of physics...).
So let me start with a few things from last week, which was a very busy week. My sister and her family from South Carolina were visiting, and as I only see them twice a year, I spent a lot of time after picking the kids up from school going to whoevers home they were at (my other sisters' houses, my fathers, my mothers, etc...). So it was a bit of a crazy, almost never home, week as we leave at 7am to take the boys to school and would not get home most nights until 9pm (making it late nights for the boys as well). On Thursday, My sister and her husband (the ones from SC) asked if anyone needed a blender, and I have been looking for a blender at the second hand shops, and so I said I would love to have it. So they passed on a brand new blender to me. You see I had been trying to figure out ways to get more veggies into my body and had been reading some about green smoothies, so was looking for a blender so I could try it out. I figured if I blended veggies I could drink them, and thus be more likely to add them to my regular habits. But I was searching half heartily because the sound of a green smoothie, well just made my palate want to shrivel.
Then Saturday was my Mom's CD release party. Her first CD "We'll Get Through" is finally out there in the world, and the party on Saturday was a thank you celebration for all the people and community who had been so supportive of her music over the years. She has been a local musician for well over a decade, even was on Nashville's star search about 12 years ago and won. She recorded a couple of songs then, but life got in the way, and she did not even touch on the music business (aside from playing locally often) until a couple of years ago, when she requested the mastered copies of her two songs. The producer had them digitally remastered, and when he listened to them again, he was very excited and asked her if she had written more. Of course she had, and she and Jim (my step father) had been doing a lot of local performances. So they were invited back down to Nashville to record some more songs, and recently were picked up by Tate Music Group. So it is all very exciting, and there was a big shindig. They did a raffle and donated the monies to the local Community Action Agency. They invited a number of other local artists to come and sing, and even set up their karaoke machine towards the end. It was a great night.
A came after work and I sent the kids home around 9:30 (after they had each gotten to sing a couple of songs--Josiah is such a showman, and Gonzo was not going to be left out...). So A took them home for me and gave them baths (they were filthy) and put them to bed. I stayed to finish out the night and help with the clean up. It was about 10:30 when I got home, bringing my dad with me. As A is still living at my Dad's house, I figured he could catch a ride home with A. So by the time they headed out and I got the kids fully settled into bed (they were still awake (overtired) when I got home but they were in their beds). By then it was around 11:15pm. I had been up until 2am the night before getting some posters for the event finished (my computer issues made it so late). I was exhausted, but my mind was still buzzing, so I thought "I'll just watch part of a documentary on Netflix to wind down before I go to sleep. (I love documentaries and have been watching a bunch on agriculture, health, food supply and other challenging our world today--having worked in agricultural research for nearly 10 years, I am always interested to see how things are going).
So, I picked a movie that I thought looked kinda uninteresting (I was trying to lull myself to sleep remember), and within 5 minutes I was riveted. I was so impressed and inspired by the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" that I stayed up until 1am to watch it. It was so compelling to me, that I ended up getting up before the kids the next morning and watching it again. Perhaps it is because so much of what I have been thinking about was brought up in it, or perhaps because I was just finally ready to hear it, it just moved me. To watch two people, one of whom I "get" (Phil the 429 lb truck driver), truly and completely transform their lives is so little time with so little effort (but a HUGE mental, emotional commitment).
It finally dawned on my--If I truly want to transform my life, really turn it around, I have to get off the road I am traveling on, not just pull into the other lane like I have been doing. I have to do something more drastic and radical with my life. If I want to get well, I have to live well, not just toy with idea. If I want my body to be healthy, I can't just tweak things here and there, I am WAY too far down the road of unhealthy to be able to get back with little changes. It is time to reboot my life. While the movie focuses on a juice fast, with my current health a juice fast is not advised (the joys of type 2 diabetes). So, I have done a lot of reading and such both before and after this past weekend, and have decided to go on a path of not just adding more fruits and veggies to my diet, but radically changing the way I think about the food I eat, and making my eating style to be predominately vegetables. And yes, that blender is coming in quite handy.
So yesterday, after spending 3 hours and $300 on getting my car so it is safe to drive (still needs another $600 worth of work, but bit by bit is coming along), I went to the grocery store, not the usual discount food store I tend to shop at, but a REAL grocery store, where they have a huge selection of higher quality produce, and I bought a LOT of vegetables and some fruit. (can you tell I got paid last Friday, and I got the unexpected bonus of a couple of additional checks I was not expecting for a couple more weeks, so I was able to fix the car AND go shopping). Last night when I got home, I made a green smoothie:
2 Kale Leaves
1 apple
3 celery stalks
1 mango
1/2 cucumber
1tbs spirulina
1 tbs flax seeds
ice
and blended it all up. It was tastier than I thought it would be. I made the kids drink a couple ounces of it as I know having the extra nutrients will be a benefit to them. I thought it was really tasty (the mango really was strong). the kids did not like it so much and A came over after work and tried some as well, but did not find it as tasty, but okay.
It was sweltering hot (I know for those in the midwest it probably would have felt refreshing, but alas I am not used to heat near 90) so we had turkey sandwiches and strawberries for dinner. I decided that that will be my last refined meal for a while.
I am committing to starting today--TODAY--to truly transforming my relationship with food and my body. For the next 30 days, I will eat only vegetables, fruit, nuts, and beans. No canned food. No processed foods. No meat or dairy. Only fresh food that has grown from the sunlight and the ground. While not the 60 day fresh juice fast that the movie focused on, I know that this healthy, balanced, drastic change will help me on my path to a healthier stronger me, and will help reset my taste buds and my habits, so that as I add back in other foods--like eggs, fish, poultry and whole grains--that I will be able to do so without them taking over my body. I plan to very rarely have processed foods again. And as I change what I eat, I will begin changing what my children eat too. While on Friday I shopped at our normal discount food place and bought a bunch of our "regular" food stuffs that the kids like, once it is gone, I will not be buying it again. So while I do a drastic 180degree turn in my eating, I am going to take an incremental approach with my kids, doing less and less refined and processed foods and introducing more and more fresh, whole foods to their diets. I have already been doing this, but at a slower pace than I should have been. I will make them drink a couple of ounces of a green smoothie each afternoon though, treat it like medicine, so they benefit from the amazing micro-nutrient density of it, and who knows, maybe someday they will end up liking it and asking for it as a snack...
So today I made a smoothie for breakfast:
1/4 cantaloupe melon
1/2 cucumber
2 handfuls of Spring Mix baby lettuce
1 celery stalk
1/2 tbs flax seed
1/2 tbs spirulina
I took half and left half int he fridge for A (who still gets ready for work at my house as my father's hot water is thru a wood boiler and you have to start a fire out in the boiler like 30-60 minutes before you have the water hot enough for a shower. As A prefers to shower in the morning, my house is easier). It was too thick, and lacked something, but was still tasty. I think tomorrow I will as 1/4 of a lemon and see if that helps.
I have also had 16 oz of unsweetened brewed iced tea, a 20 oz bottle of water, and a grapefruit. When I get back in the car, I am going to have an apple, some spring mix and cucumbers, and some raw almonds.
so today is Day one of a drastic transformation leaf for this Life in Transformation. Oh, and perhaps I am starting to feel the effects of more nutrient dense foods, because I am NOT "so tired..." today....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Okay, so I HAVEN'T figured out how to post from the cell phone....
Well, It has been a busy week and I had thought I had sent a couple of posts from my cell phone, short ones, but little updates. However, it seems they never materialized on this blog, so I guess I have NOT figured out how to do quick blog posts via text. Oh well...
This past week, the kids were on a short summer vacation between the end of the regular school year and the beginning of summer school, which started today. We had a pretty low key week last week--hung out at home, splashed around in the kiddie pool on a couple of hot days, played video games and watched movies on rainy days, visited with my father, stopped down to coffee at my sister's house, walked up town for ice cream at the Ice Cream Garden (less than 1/3 of a mile, first downhill then up a slowly slopping hill). On the way there (which is mostly uphill) Gonzo said to me "mom this is way too far to walk", so I told him that he takes more actual steps running around the house than we were taking getting ice cream (the child never stops moving). Josiah was in his wheel chair. While he is getting very good with his walker and doing some amazing things, that is WAY too far for him to even attempt. So he got a nice ride. We walked past the lake, which is near our house, and which is always pretty. After ice cream we walked home, mostly down hill and past the lake again. Gonzo did not complain at all about walking downhill. We stopped by the little playground next to the lake and played--Josiah loves the swings and is strong and stable enough now to be on a regular swing, so he had a blast, and Gonzo climbed and crawled and did the monkey bars and slides. We then collected some rocks to toss into the water. Then walked the last 100 feet to our house. Gonzo was able to cut through the woods (a thick bunch of trees and large rocks at the bottom of the hill that creates a visual barrier to the road) to cross the yard when we were in sight of the house, which made Josiah a little jealous, as he wanted to do that too. But there was no way for me to get his chair through the little path, as you have to go over and around some boulders and between tree trunks.
Then this weekend we went camping at Garnet Lake, a little lake kind of in the middle of nowhere, except that a LOT of people have seasonal homes and such around the lake. My sisters grabbed a couple of the campsites, and between the two campsites we ended up with 12 tents and 27 people (if I counted right). In addition to my sisters and their families (One sister had she and her boyfriend and the two little kids, and the other sister had three tents--one for them, one for the girls, and one for the boys as her kids are in the teens & tweens, and brought friends too). In addition to family, another family that is a friend of one of my sister's and comes every year ended up bringing a lot of friends and family with them. I was glad that I was not set up at the big main site, as there ended up being a lot of people who did not have kids there, and they used the camping time as a drunk fest, which is so not what I want my kids around.
Overall, my family decided that next year, we are not camping with them again, as it really was not what we were looking for. My one sister and her friend have done this camping trip together on 4th of July weekend for over 7 years (this is the first year I have gone for overnight, I have visited to spend the day before). But the other group is just not a very family friendly group. So next year, my sisters and I agreed we would find a different camping spot for our 4th of July camping trip. Don't get me wrong, the trip was great. The boys and I got there late on Friday and set up our tent at the smaller site with my one sister and her kids (the one with older kids), my dad set up there too, then we cooked dinner at the main site, and I met a bunch of the people who were set up there. Most of them had been there since morning. After dinner we roasted marshmallows, made smores, and later went down to the beach area, and one of the guys set off a couple of fireworks. Then I put my kids to bed. At first I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to hang out with everyone at the main site, but it was actually very peaceful to sit by my own campfire and relax int eh calm. My one sister, whom I had had some strained relationship with earlier this year, came down too and we spend some times just hanging out by the fire (hers were the tents that were in that site also. Then Saturday we got up and went up to the main site, cooked breakfast over the fire, and hung out with everyone for a while. Then most of us with kids (and a few without) went down to the beach area. We swam and played in the water. some of us brought snacks and stuff down, my dad started the campfire that was at the beach area, and we canoed and kayaked and swam and tubed most of the day. Josiah got really sleepy, in the afternoon so I took him across the road to our tent, and layed down with him and Gonzo. My mom arrived as we were heading up for the nap. A little while later, while the boys were still sleeping she came up to the site and we chatted for a while. I had to wake the boys up for dinner when my nephew came down to tell us that dinner was ready in the main site. So we headed there for dinner and chatted with everyone. there was a steep hill that lead from the main flat area of the campsite up to a path to the outhouse and them up further to a couple more tent sites. Some of the kids had been going up and down the hill during the day, just playing, but then Josiah wanted to go up the hill. He was pushing his walker and started slipping and I said to him "bud, I know you want to go up there, but I don't think you are ready for that yet" (it was a very long, very steep hill with lots of roots and rocks, hard even for fully able bodied kids to walk up). He looked right at me and said "oh yes I am!" and I walked behind him as he amazed me, and everyone else by making all the way to the top of this difficult path. It took quite a bit of time and a lot of work on his part, but he did it!! I wished I had a video camera or even a regular camera. He was amazing. coming back down was actually harder because, well it is steep with rocks and roots, and he was walking with a walker. so I did a lot more catching and repositioning of him on the way back down taking it only 2-3 feet at a time so we didn't tumbled down the hill. He made it to the top ALL BY HIMSELF!!!! People clapped as he came back down, even people who didn't know him. Everyone was amazed by his determination--what a champion that boy is!!! He'll climb mountains someday, without my help.
We did fireworks at the beach that night, but Josiah and I stayed up at the main site, as he was afraid of the noise. He has a lot of noise sensitivity because he has some patchy hearing loss, making him oversensitive to certain sounds. So he and I watch through the trees with my hands glued over his ears so he could enjoy the fireworks. Last year when we went to the circus I brought ear plugs (actually I had my step father pick up ear plugs for Josiah). He could actually enjoy the circus without being terrified of what loud sound was going to startle him next. Gonzo is also sound sensitive, so he liked the ear plugs too. I wish I had brought them for the camping, but I did not know there were going to be fireworks. Overall, it was a great trip. We left Sunday morning after breakfast to go home so the kids could spend time with A. We got home and had dinner, and then went to the parade in town. The parade ended at the park by the lake by our house. They had live music, which we could hear from home, so we had free entertainment. The town fireworks are set off by the lake right next to our house (through the woods). and the fireworks actually go right over the house, so we just set up our chairs int he front yard and enjoyed the fireworks Sunday night from home with A. My brother came for a bit and then met up with friends down by the lake. the rest of my family was still camping. Like last year, pieces of the fireworks kept bouncing off the roof. Only one firework ended up coming in too low and still flaming as the pieces landed around the house and yard, but they went out quickly on their own (last year we had some we had to stomp on). On Monday we did some running around, I had left my tent at the camp site for my nephew to use and to dry out as it rained on Sunday, and we went to pack it up Monday (its about 45 minutes from our house) and A wanted to see the camping area. When we got there, my family had already cleared out, and did me a favor of taking my tent with them (which I did not know), so we stopped first at my one sisters house (only about 10 miles from the camp site and only 1 mile off the road we needed to take anyway), and chatted with her. I am glad we left on Sunday as the crowd got really rowdy and not pleasant with the addition of a couple of extra people on Sunday evening, and my sister and her husband ended up going to the little campsite with their kids early, while my other sister just took her kids to bed as they were set up at the main site. So I missed to less pleasant part of the camp trip. Then we just came home and made burgers and hung out.
I put the kids to bed early as they started their summer programs today and I wanted them to be well rested. J is in a different classroom for the summer, one more mainstream than the one he was used to , though he already knew the teacher and half the kids where in his room before, so not a huge switch for him. G on the other hand in in a totally new setting. As his self contained classroom is run through BOCES but housed in a regular school, he is normally at the smaller elementary school. But the summer program pools all of the kids from all five counties who need the summer program (as so few of them qualify for it) and they pool them at the main BOCES building. So it is a much larger building, totally different setting, different teacher, different kids, different aid, etc.... As Gonzo usually had a honeymoon period when faced with a new situation, and is a bit more withdrawn while he gets the lay of the land, I am betting he will do alright for the six weeks. Today and tomorrow might be little rocky, as he was quite withdrawn when I left. Which I suppose is better than full blown acting out. Ahhh....the joys of autism.... (said facetiously, of course)....
I think he will do okay. He had a one to one aid for the summer, and qualified teachers and assistants in the room. I am a little worried about what new behaviors he will pick up from the new kids, as he has a knack for adopting the most challenging behaviors he can find, and with all new kids,a ll who have issues, there are going to be new behaviours for him to test out and add to his already extensive repertoire. And I sure he will add some to other kids arsenals too--share and share alike. Enough with the truthful jesting now....I hope that he finds a friend in this program. He is starting to actually want a friend, and to realize that most kids have friends. With a new infusion of kids, I am hoping that he can hit it off with one of the kids and find a common interest. His pure fascination with bugs may find a fellow budding entomologist among the summer school kids. It would be great for him to make a friend.
Well, I best pack it up. The schedules for the kids do not work well. They both had to be dropped off at 8:15 and picked up at 1:45. And their school programs fro the summer are 20 minutes apart. The joys of having to be in two places at once. Well, G's program lets out between 1:45 and 2:00. So, after talking with the teachers this morning, I will be dropping J off first a little early and dropping G off a little late each morning, then picking J up a little early and picking G up a little later. So they are both offset by a little bit. Hopefully it will all work out. Today we have to pick up Josiah's new glasses at the eye doctor at 2:45.
AND my sister and her family from South Carolina arrives today for their annual summer visit (I have 3 sisters and one brother). They will be here five days. AND my mom's CD release party is on Saturday--her first CD--a life long dream come true for her. So it is going to be a very busy week....
This past week, the kids were on a short summer vacation between the end of the regular school year and the beginning of summer school, which started today. We had a pretty low key week last week--hung out at home, splashed around in the kiddie pool on a couple of hot days, played video games and watched movies on rainy days, visited with my father, stopped down to coffee at my sister's house, walked up town for ice cream at the Ice Cream Garden (less than 1/3 of a mile, first downhill then up a slowly slopping hill). On the way there (which is mostly uphill) Gonzo said to me "mom this is way too far to walk", so I told him that he takes more actual steps running around the house than we were taking getting ice cream (the child never stops moving). Josiah was in his wheel chair. While he is getting very good with his walker and doing some amazing things, that is WAY too far for him to even attempt. So he got a nice ride. We walked past the lake, which is near our house, and which is always pretty. After ice cream we walked home, mostly down hill and past the lake again. Gonzo did not complain at all about walking downhill. We stopped by the little playground next to the lake and played--Josiah loves the swings and is strong and stable enough now to be on a regular swing, so he had a blast, and Gonzo climbed and crawled and did the monkey bars and slides. We then collected some rocks to toss into the water. Then walked the last 100 feet to our house. Gonzo was able to cut through the woods (a thick bunch of trees and large rocks at the bottom of the hill that creates a visual barrier to the road) to cross the yard when we were in sight of the house, which made Josiah a little jealous, as he wanted to do that too. But there was no way for me to get his chair through the little path, as you have to go over and around some boulders and between tree trunks.
Then this weekend we went camping at Garnet Lake, a little lake kind of in the middle of nowhere, except that a LOT of people have seasonal homes and such around the lake. My sisters grabbed a couple of the campsites, and between the two campsites we ended up with 12 tents and 27 people (if I counted right). In addition to my sisters and their families (One sister had she and her boyfriend and the two little kids, and the other sister had three tents--one for them, one for the girls, and one for the boys as her kids are in the teens & tweens, and brought friends too). In addition to family, another family that is a friend of one of my sister's and comes every year ended up bringing a lot of friends and family with them. I was glad that I was not set up at the big main site, as there ended up being a lot of people who did not have kids there, and they used the camping time as a drunk fest, which is so not what I want my kids around.
Overall, my family decided that next year, we are not camping with them again, as it really was not what we were looking for. My one sister and her friend have done this camping trip together on 4th of July weekend for over 7 years (this is the first year I have gone for overnight, I have visited to spend the day before). But the other group is just not a very family friendly group. So next year, my sisters and I agreed we would find a different camping spot for our 4th of July camping trip. Don't get me wrong, the trip was great. The boys and I got there late on Friday and set up our tent at the smaller site with my one sister and her kids (the one with older kids), my dad set up there too, then we cooked dinner at the main site, and I met a bunch of the people who were set up there. Most of them had been there since morning. After dinner we roasted marshmallows, made smores, and later went down to the beach area, and one of the guys set off a couple of fireworks. Then I put my kids to bed. At first I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to hang out with everyone at the main site, but it was actually very peaceful to sit by my own campfire and relax int eh calm. My one sister, whom I had had some strained relationship with earlier this year, came down too and we spend some times just hanging out by the fire (hers were the tents that were in that site also. Then Saturday we got up and went up to the main site, cooked breakfast over the fire, and hung out with everyone for a while. Then most of us with kids (and a few without) went down to the beach area. We swam and played in the water. some of us brought snacks and stuff down, my dad started the campfire that was at the beach area, and we canoed and kayaked and swam and tubed most of the day. Josiah got really sleepy, in the afternoon so I took him across the road to our tent, and layed down with him and Gonzo. My mom arrived as we were heading up for the nap. A little while later, while the boys were still sleeping she came up to the site and we chatted for a while. I had to wake the boys up for dinner when my nephew came down to tell us that dinner was ready in the main site. So we headed there for dinner and chatted with everyone. there was a steep hill that lead from the main flat area of the campsite up to a path to the outhouse and them up further to a couple more tent sites. Some of the kids had been going up and down the hill during the day, just playing, but then Josiah wanted to go up the hill. He was pushing his walker and started slipping and I said to him "bud, I know you want to go up there, but I don't think you are ready for that yet" (it was a very long, very steep hill with lots of roots and rocks, hard even for fully able bodied kids to walk up). He looked right at me and said "oh yes I am!" and I walked behind him as he amazed me, and everyone else by making all the way to the top of this difficult path. It took quite a bit of time and a lot of work on his part, but he did it!! I wished I had a video camera or even a regular camera. He was amazing. coming back down was actually harder because, well it is steep with rocks and roots, and he was walking with a walker. so I did a lot more catching and repositioning of him on the way back down taking it only 2-3 feet at a time so we didn't tumbled down the hill. He made it to the top ALL BY HIMSELF!!!! People clapped as he came back down, even people who didn't know him. Everyone was amazed by his determination--what a champion that boy is!!! He'll climb mountains someday, without my help.
We did fireworks at the beach that night, but Josiah and I stayed up at the main site, as he was afraid of the noise. He has a lot of noise sensitivity because he has some patchy hearing loss, making him oversensitive to certain sounds. So he and I watch through the trees with my hands glued over his ears so he could enjoy the fireworks. Last year when we went to the circus I brought ear plugs (actually I had my step father pick up ear plugs for Josiah). He could actually enjoy the circus without being terrified of what loud sound was going to startle him next. Gonzo is also sound sensitive, so he liked the ear plugs too. I wish I had brought them for the camping, but I did not know there were going to be fireworks. Overall, it was a great trip. We left Sunday morning after breakfast to go home so the kids could spend time with A. We got home and had dinner, and then went to the parade in town. The parade ended at the park by the lake by our house. They had live music, which we could hear from home, so we had free entertainment. The town fireworks are set off by the lake right next to our house (through the woods). and the fireworks actually go right over the house, so we just set up our chairs int he front yard and enjoyed the fireworks Sunday night from home with A. My brother came for a bit and then met up with friends down by the lake. the rest of my family was still camping. Like last year, pieces of the fireworks kept bouncing off the roof. Only one firework ended up coming in too low and still flaming as the pieces landed around the house and yard, but they went out quickly on their own (last year we had some we had to stomp on). On Monday we did some running around, I had left my tent at the camp site for my nephew to use and to dry out as it rained on Sunday, and we went to pack it up Monday (its about 45 minutes from our house) and A wanted to see the camping area. When we got there, my family had already cleared out, and did me a favor of taking my tent with them (which I did not know), so we stopped first at my one sisters house (only about 10 miles from the camp site and only 1 mile off the road we needed to take anyway), and chatted with her. I am glad we left on Sunday as the crowd got really rowdy and not pleasant with the addition of a couple of extra people on Sunday evening, and my sister and her husband ended up going to the little campsite with their kids early, while my other sister just took her kids to bed as they were set up at the main site. So I missed to less pleasant part of the camp trip. Then we just came home and made burgers and hung out.
I put the kids to bed early as they started their summer programs today and I wanted them to be well rested. J is in a different classroom for the summer, one more mainstream than the one he was used to , though he already knew the teacher and half the kids where in his room before, so not a huge switch for him. G on the other hand in in a totally new setting. As his self contained classroom is run through BOCES but housed in a regular school, he is normally at the smaller elementary school. But the summer program pools all of the kids from all five counties who need the summer program (as so few of them qualify for it) and they pool them at the main BOCES building. So it is a much larger building, totally different setting, different teacher, different kids, different aid, etc.... As Gonzo usually had a honeymoon period when faced with a new situation, and is a bit more withdrawn while he gets the lay of the land, I am betting he will do alright for the six weeks. Today and tomorrow might be little rocky, as he was quite withdrawn when I left. Which I suppose is better than full blown acting out. Ahhh....the joys of autism.... (said facetiously, of course)....
I think he will do okay. He had a one to one aid for the summer, and qualified teachers and assistants in the room. I am a little worried about what new behaviors he will pick up from the new kids, as he has a knack for adopting the most challenging behaviors he can find, and with all new kids,a ll who have issues, there are going to be new behaviours for him to test out and add to his already extensive repertoire. And I sure he will add some to other kids arsenals too--share and share alike. Enough with the truthful jesting now....I hope that he finds a friend in this program. He is starting to actually want a friend, and to realize that most kids have friends. With a new infusion of kids, I am hoping that he can hit it off with one of the kids and find a common interest. His pure fascination with bugs may find a fellow budding entomologist among the summer school kids. It would be great for him to make a friend.
Well, I best pack it up. The schedules for the kids do not work well. They both had to be dropped off at 8:15 and picked up at 1:45. And their school programs fro the summer are 20 minutes apart. The joys of having to be in two places at once. Well, G's program lets out between 1:45 and 2:00. So, after talking with the teachers this morning, I will be dropping J off first a little early and dropping G off a little late each morning, then picking J up a little early and picking G up a little later. So they are both offset by a little bit. Hopefully it will all work out. Today we have to pick up Josiah's new glasses at the eye doctor at 2:45.
AND my sister and her family from South Carolina arrives today for their annual summer visit (I have 3 sisters and one brother). They will be here five days. AND my mom's CD release party is on Saturday--her first CD--a life long dream come true for her. So it is going to be a very busy week....
Monday, June 27, 2011
The first official day of summer vacation for the boys...
So today is the first official week of summer vacation for the kids. Well, they actually start summer school on July 5th for 6 weeks, but summer programing is more camp-like than the regular school year. So this morning we ran errands--We had to go over to the health department to get fill out my monthly transportation time card so I can get paid for June. While we were there, the boys chatted with their Grandma (My mom works for the health department nursing service in their IT department), and we bumped into the WIC program person. She had some bike helmets still from the early June bike helmet give away and so the boys got fitted for new bike helmets, which is great as they outgrew theirs last year. Now I just need to get G a new bike, as his was crunched under the trailer's porch when it collapsed under the weight of the snow this winter. J's tricycle was unharmed luckily as it was at the apartment. So now G needs a new (used) bike. I was going to go down to the transfer center where there is a little building where people can drop off items that are still good that they just don't want anymore. Hopefully there will be a kids bike there. We will have to wait until Thursday though as we just didn't make it there today, as they are closed tomorrow and Wendnesday.
Anyway, after leaving the county building with my card filled out and turned in, and carrying their new bike helmets, we then headed over to the post office. I finally got another letter from the IRS, and it was good news. The finished their minor audit/review and will be releasing my refund in 2-3 weeks. So HUGE sigh of relief as I have been waiting on that refund (which is larger than normal) for a few months now. As I did not get that jobI had ben in the running for (and no other applications have panned out), this refund is going to be used to pay our living expenses ahead a couple of months to give me more time to generate a way to bring in an income, as the transportation is done once summer school ends. Jos is going to regular, main stream kindergarten in September, and both boys will be transported by bus. SO I have a couple more months to get a couple more writing gigs that pay money and are somewhat stable, and find other ways to fill in the gaps. I could do a money making blog, but I really just like doing this blog, which is kind of like public journaling but with more self-control. I will have to think about how to do a secondary blog if I decide to use it to generate an income. I have a few idea of ways to incorporate more income generating things into my website (powerfulconsciousness.weebly.com), but I am unsure how much I want to focus on generating an income that way, as I enjoy sharing things on that website that mean things to me without the added pressure of making money. While I do have a few affiliate links, they are only for things that I really like and want to share, and some of my links on there have no affiliate kickback whatsoever. I just like to share things that I have found useful on my journey. Perhaps focusing on more articles and promoting the website more will generate some semblance of a useful income. Then there is always the books in progress, but those often take a long time even once finished to get published and start making an income from. I am not too worried, I will come up with something, God always provides, this is something that I know from experience., and the refund to pay ahead is going to reduce stress greatly in the daily living expenses area.
Anyway, after the post office we stopped over at Community Action to get a food box. I am worried that next week we will be hard pressed on gas money to get the kids to their programming, as it is another one of those 5 weeks between paychecks months (darn months with 5 Thursdays, they mess up my budgeting). So I am trying to stretch the funds I have to make it through the 8th. At least I don't have to drive this week, but I do need enough for next week's 400 miles of driving necessity. So we again made use of the food pantry. They were very low on food today though, I was surprised. but then again the economy is not bouncing back very well and here, where summer tourism drives the economy, people are just starting on the summer season. So I imagine there were a number of families that still needed it this month. It is also the end of the month, so pickings get slim as you get nearer to their restocking day. I look forward to when I can give donations again to them again instead of having to be the recipient.
After that we came home and I put a patch on their blow up pool thingy, then we spent a couple hours of fun with the hose and filling the little pool in the back yard. The patch does not seem to be holding very well, but that's okay. I borrowed a hand pump from my former neighbor to blow it up. At some point I want to find an electric air pump, which will make it easier to inflate every day. Time to check the free section of craigslist for both a bike for G and an air pump. I miss the freecycle community from the Ithaca area, what an amazingly active group that was. I both got and gave a great many things through freecyle. But alas, this very rural area does not really lend itself to an active freecyle list. Anyway, the kids had a blast in the kiddie pool, splashing and spraying with the hose. They played in the water quite a bit longer than I thought they would, as the hose is COLD water. But they had a lot of fun. We came in and got dry clothes on, and then the kids watched a video and ate some food.
A mother woodpecker ran into the window and stunned herself. She has a nest of babies in the woods on the other side of the driveway, and boy are those baby's LOUD. She and the father woodpecker work tirelessly bringing food back to the whole in the tree for the little ones. I am not sure how many, as the nest is in a hole in a broken off tree and is over 15 feet up the trunk. I just know that they are loud and the mother is always collecting food for them. They have quieted down over the past couple of days, so they must be getting bigger. Anyway, she was going after a green moth and hit the window hard. We went out to protect her from the dog and cat, who were both interested in getting a closer look. She was stunned but after a few minutes she came around, and was more alert. Nothing appeared broken, and she was not bleeding anywhere. After another few minutes she flew up to hang on the porch ceiling. Then a while after that she flew away. I was glad the kids could see the bird get better. The other day we came home to a dead robin in the same spot. His neck was broken when he ran into the window, the poor little dear.
It is now nearly 5:00. The kids are playing video games, and I was working on entering my food journal for the day. I know I originally started this blog with food journalling, but I got away from them and less consistent in my journalling. I decided to start food journaling in a way that game me more concrete information without having to do a lot of digging. So I starting using Spark People and now I am getting better at keeping track of my food because it gives you a lot of nutritional info tracking as well as calorie tracking and carb, fat, and protein gram tracking. I can even track my glucose levels and water intake, as well as fitness if I can figure that part out. So if you want to follow my food tracking and weight loss, it is on http://my.sparkpeople.com/truthfrees
I had gained back a few pounds from my initial weight loss that I started tracking with this blog, but since I started tracking again last week, I have lost over 5 pounds. So that is a good thing. I definitely have found keeping track of everything you eat makes a huge difference. I also am focused right now on keeping my calories down to around 2000 a day, with the hope that after that becomes the norm in a couple of weeks, I will then focus on the 1800 calorie limit my doctor would like for me. My pre-breakfast glucose levels have also been going down. Though I forgot to take my herbal and alternative supplements yesterday and I saw a rise in my glucose for this morning, so it seems my combination of supplements is having an effect. My doctor is willing to let me try this method for a few months, and if it shows good results, she may be less pressuring about being on certain pharmaceutical meds that I do not like the idea of being on. I told her that if I can not get it under control with diet, exercise and supplements (like cinnamon--that yummy stuff you put on your oatmeal and in cookies, and garlic--another amazingly flavorful food with great medicinal benefit), then I will go on the pharma meds.
Well, at some point I will get back to the story of how life changed when Jos came homes, which I had
started here : Thinking...Part 4
But alas it has taken me nearly two hours to write this post as I have been stopping and doing things with the boys, and dealing with the sibling rivalry issues that are rampant in my house. As well as swinging Jos and tickling the boys, and being silly, not to mention the bird thing and just other things that have popped up since I started this post. So I should end it and start thinking about making dinner...
Anyway, after leaving the county building with my card filled out and turned in, and carrying their new bike helmets, we then headed over to the post office. I finally got another letter from the IRS, and it was good news. The finished their minor audit/review and will be releasing my refund in 2-3 weeks. So HUGE sigh of relief as I have been waiting on that refund (which is larger than normal) for a few months now. As I did not get that jobI had ben in the running for (and no other applications have panned out), this refund is going to be used to pay our living expenses ahead a couple of months to give me more time to generate a way to bring in an income, as the transportation is done once summer school ends. Jos is going to regular, main stream kindergarten in September, and both boys will be transported by bus. SO I have a couple more months to get a couple more writing gigs that pay money and are somewhat stable, and find other ways to fill in the gaps. I could do a money making blog, but I really just like doing this blog, which is kind of like public journaling but with more self-control. I will have to think about how to do a secondary blog if I decide to use it to generate an income. I have a few idea of ways to incorporate more income generating things into my website (powerfulconsciousness.weebly.com), but I am unsure how much I want to focus on generating an income that way, as I enjoy sharing things on that website that mean things to me without the added pressure of making money. While I do have a few affiliate links, they are only for things that I really like and want to share, and some of my links on there have no affiliate kickback whatsoever. I just like to share things that I have found useful on my journey. Perhaps focusing on more articles and promoting the website more will generate some semblance of a useful income. Then there is always the books in progress, but those often take a long time even once finished to get published and start making an income from. I am not too worried, I will come up with something, God always provides, this is something that I know from experience., and the refund to pay ahead is going to reduce stress greatly in the daily living expenses area.
Anyway, after the post office we stopped over at Community Action to get a food box. I am worried that next week we will be hard pressed on gas money to get the kids to their programming, as it is another one of those 5 weeks between paychecks months (darn months with 5 Thursdays, they mess up my budgeting). So I am trying to stretch the funds I have to make it through the 8th. At least I don't have to drive this week, but I do need enough for next week's 400 miles of driving necessity. So we again made use of the food pantry. They were very low on food today though, I was surprised. but then again the economy is not bouncing back very well and here, where summer tourism drives the economy, people are just starting on the summer season. So I imagine there were a number of families that still needed it this month. It is also the end of the month, so pickings get slim as you get nearer to their restocking day. I look forward to when I can give donations again to them again instead of having to be the recipient.
After that we came home and I put a patch on their blow up pool thingy, then we spent a couple hours of fun with the hose and filling the little pool in the back yard. The patch does not seem to be holding very well, but that's okay. I borrowed a hand pump from my former neighbor to blow it up. At some point I want to find an electric air pump, which will make it easier to inflate every day. Time to check the free section of craigslist for both a bike for G and an air pump. I miss the freecycle community from the Ithaca area, what an amazingly active group that was. I both got and gave a great many things through freecyle. But alas, this very rural area does not really lend itself to an active freecyle list. Anyway, the kids had a blast in the kiddie pool, splashing and spraying with the hose. They played in the water quite a bit longer than I thought they would, as the hose is COLD water. But they had a lot of fun. We came in and got dry clothes on, and then the kids watched a video and ate some food.
A mother woodpecker ran into the window and stunned herself. She has a nest of babies in the woods on the other side of the driveway, and boy are those baby's LOUD. She and the father woodpecker work tirelessly bringing food back to the whole in the tree for the little ones. I am not sure how many, as the nest is in a hole in a broken off tree and is over 15 feet up the trunk. I just know that they are loud and the mother is always collecting food for them. They have quieted down over the past couple of days, so they must be getting bigger. Anyway, she was going after a green moth and hit the window hard. We went out to protect her from the dog and cat, who were both interested in getting a closer look. She was stunned but after a few minutes she came around, and was more alert. Nothing appeared broken, and she was not bleeding anywhere. After another few minutes she flew up to hang on the porch ceiling. Then a while after that she flew away. I was glad the kids could see the bird get better. The other day we came home to a dead robin in the same spot. His neck was broken when he ran into the window, the poor little dear.
It is now nearly 5:00. The kids are playing video games, and I was working on entering my food journal for the day. I know I originally started this blog with food journalling, but I got away from them and less consistent in my journalling. I decided to start food journaling in a way that game me more concrete information without having to do a lot of digging. So I starting using Spark People and now I am getting better at keeping track of my food because it gives you a lot of nutritional info tracking as well as calorie tracking and carb, fat, and protein gram tracking. I can even track my glucose levels and water intake, as well as fitness if I can figure that part out. So if you want to follow my food tracking and weight loss, it is on http://my.sparkpeople.com/truthfrees
I had gained back a few pounds from my initial weight loss that I started tracking with this blog, but since I started tracking again last week, I have lost over 5 pounds. So that is a good thing. I definitely have found keeping track of everything you eat makes a huge difference. I also am focused right now on keeping my calories down to around 2000 a day, with the hope that after that becomes the norm in a couple of weeks, I will then focus on the 1800 calorie limit my doctor would like for me. My pre-breakfast glucose levels have also been going down. Though I forgot to take my herbal and alternative supplements yesterday and I saw a rise in my glucose for this morning, so it seems my combination of supplements is having an effect. My doctor is willing to let me try this method for a few months, and if it shows good results, she may be less pressuring about being on certain pharmaceutical meds that I do not like the idea of being on. I told her that if I can not get it under control with diet, exercise and supplements (like cinnamon--that yummy stuff you put on your oatmeal and in cookies, and garlic--another amazingly flavorful food with great medicinal benefit), then I will go on the pharma meds.
Well, at some point I will get back to the story of how life changed when Jos came homes, which I had
started here : Thinking...Part 4
But alas it has taken me nearly two hours to write this post as I have been stopping and doing things with the boys, and dealing with the sibling rivalry issues that are rampant in my house. As well as swinging Jos and tickling the boys, and being silly, not to mention the bird thing and just other things that have popped up since I started this post. So I should end it and start thinking about making dinner...
Friday, June 24, 2011
Everything happens for a reason....
Well, the job that I had been hoping to get has fallen through. Three interviews and the final running, but alas I was not the candidate selected. They thanked me for my interest, were impressed by my qualifications, enjoyed meeting with me, but I was not the best fit candidate for the position. So we stay the staus quo, though after August my main income is gone, so I do need to find a somewhat stable source of income between now and then.
Everything happens for a reason, so we will see where this adventure leads...
Everything happens for a reason, so we will see where this adventure leads...
Thursday, June 23, 2011
WOW, some days are just stressful.....
Well, today is one of those days. G finished up with school yesterday, but Jos still had a regular day today as his last day. I had to replace the rotors and pads on the front brakes. I actually bought the parts and my father was going to do it, but he could not get the rotors off. So I took it to the garage, and it ended up costing $112 JUST IN LABOR as I already gave them the parts for it. I also asked them to remount the tires on the front. as they are wearing unevenly and by switching them around you can get more mileage out of them before i have to come up with the money for new tires and an alignment. But they said they felt the tires were not good enough so they would not do it, which means I need to ask my brother if he can do it. And A's brake pads are completely down to the metal. I don't know why A let them get so far down. At this point the rotors will have to replaced too, when if the pads had been done a week ago, it would have only cost like $20 for the pads. I know it is not my vehicle and I have no reason to feel like it is going to come out of my pocket, but in the trickle down effect that I have from A, if something costs A money, I end up "lending" money for gas and other things to make up the difference. Normally I don't mind giving money to people as I know that in the end, if I need it, they will be there for me as I was for them. But lately I feel like with my ex, the fair exchange of favors has become very one sided. For a while, it was working out fine, I would lend A money to get to the next paycheck (weekly) and at the end of the month, A would get it back to me as I needed to stretch to my next paycheck (which is monthly), but lately the amount I give out and the amount I get back are getting further and further apart, which I can not afford. And A is getting more and more negative again, which just makes me want to scream, because I am trying to get away from the negativity in my life, not draw a whole bunch more in, especially when A has some really great prospects out there right now that should be bringing a MORE positive attitude and feelings. I suppose it goes back to choice, we each choose whether we focus on the negatives in our lives or on the positives. I guess today's post is more of a negative focus for me, from me.....something more for me to think about and adjust in my own attitude...
In order to drop the car off at the garage, I had to have A follow us down, and then ride with A to drop Jos off and then drop A off at work. Then Gonz and I had breakfast at the diner, and now we are hanging out at the library. Jos gets out of school at 1:45, but A does not get out of work until 8pm. So now I have to figure out how to pick up my car, as the garage closes before them.
It has just been one of those crazy, run around days. Gonz fell asleep in the car on the way to the bank. He was a bit difficult this morning for A in the ride down, but I think maybe he was just tired. I had to keep reminding the boys it was time to go to sleep last night, as they kept chattering away. An hour and a half after the lights were turned out I still had to go in and tell them it was time to stop talking and go to sleep. I had to threaten the removal of Jos' book in order to get them to finally stop. (the boys each have book and little led flashlight in their beds after lights out, but usually they settle down within a few minutes and I end up shutting off the little flashlights 30 minutes later when they are sleeping). So I think they were both tired this morning, and they also get affected by people's moods. And A was not is a good one this morning. Having to get to our house and leave 30 minutes early than usual added to it, but it is more about the job. Working on a total commission base is hard, especially when there is road construction in from of the dealership and thus very few customers. But A is also looking for a regular, full time position back in human services. overall pay is less, but it is more rewarding and the income much more stable. So A is going back to that hopefully. Then A can get an apartment and move out of my father's house, and start rebuilding a life. And I can get back to rebuilding my life more solidly as a single person.
So a sigh of relief, and I hope that A gets the new job and that it all works out. Well, I should spend some time with Gonz, who is playing a game on the computer next to me in the children's section of the library....
In order to drop the car off at the garage, I had to have A follow us down, and then ride with A to drop Jos off and then drop A off at work. Then Gonz and I had breakfast at the diner, and now we are hanging out at the library. Jos gets out of school at 1:45, but A does not get out of work until 8pm. So now I have to figure out how to pick up my car, as the garage closes before them.
It has just been one of those crazy, run around days. Gonz fell asleep in the car on the way to the bank. He was a bit difficult this morning for A in the ride down, but I think maybe he was just tired. I had to keep reminding the boys it was time to go to sleep last night, as they kept chattering away. An hour and a half after the lights were turned out I still had to go in and tell them it was time to stop talking and go to sleep. I had to threaten the removal of Jos' book in order to get them to finally stop. (the boys each have book and little led flashlight in their beds after lights out, but usually they settle down within a few minutes and I end up shutting off the little flashlights 30 minutes later when they are sleeping). So I think they were both tired this morning, and they also get affected by people's moods. And A was not is a good one this morning. Having to get to our house and leave 30 minutes early than usual added to it, but it is more about the job. Working on a total commission base is hard, especially when there is road construction in from of the dealership and thus very few customers. But A is also looking for a regular, full time position back in human services. overall pay is less, but it is more rewarding and the income much more stable. So A is going back to that hopefully. Then A can get an apartment and move out of my father's house, and start rebuilding a life. And I can get back to rebuilding my life more solidly as a single person.
So a sigh of relief, and I hope that A gets the new job and that it all works out. Well, I should spend some time with Gonz, who is playing a game on the computer next to me in the children's section of the library....
Monday, June 20, 2011
Crazy week....
Sorry I haven't posted over the past few days. I will get back to my story picking up with how life changed when Josiah came home. But for today, I just wanted to touch base.
Today was Josiah's moving up ceremony from preschool. He even led the procession with his walker. He is walking so well (albeit very slowly, but I love it, and so does he). His class was so cute. They did sing us some songs, and then the kids were each presented with a little diploma and a special trait of theirs was mentioned. Josiah was presented as someone who likes to be in charge and be the director of all activities (which can sometimes lead to trouble as the the teacher likes to be in charge too (his teacher said this with a great big grin--my strong willed, amazing little man)). He did great. He has a meet and greet tomorrow with the class that will be his kindergarten class. Most of them have been together this year in pre-k here at our local school, but he has been in preschool an hour away for a special needs program. He will be in a main stream classroom next year, and I think, after the initial adjustment to it, he will do extremely well.
Here are a couple of pics of him at his ceremony:
I took the boys canoeing this weekend. We canoed from the brook by my father's house down to the lake. We had a little picnic lunch on an island on the causeway, and then paddled back up the brook. The kids loved it, it was a great day. They are ready to go again anytime, so I think we have added another outdoor activity to our list of fun family things to do. It is great because as a kid, my family was always taking a canoe trip somewhere. It is great to be able to do it with my children. I was not sure how manageable it would be for Josiah, but he did great. His balance and ability to correct his movements has gotten great. We had wonderful time.
Here are a couple of pics from that day too (can you tell I replaced the batteries in my camera?):
I'll try to pick up our family story where I left off later this week. It is a bit of a crazy week though as it is the last week of regular school for the kids. Tomorrow after the meet and greet, J will have Kindergarten screening and I will have a meeting with the CSE people to finalize his IEP for the fall. Then Wednesday when G ends his last day, I will meet with his teacher and do a phone conference with our CSE to finalize his IEP now that he has had his adaptive technology assessment done (G has mild CP also and very delayed motor (both fine and gross motor) skills are extemely delayed). J has school thru Thursday. Then we have a school break from Friday until July 5th when the summer program starts for 6 weeks. I was hoping to get out to the Boston area during that break and visit friends and take the kids on a whale watch, but a check that I have been waiting for has not yet come. So, that will have to wait for a later time, Maybe in August after summer school ends.
Today was Josiah's moving up ceremony from preschool. He even led the procession with his walker. He is walking so well (albeit very slowly, but I love it, and so does he). His class was so cute. They did sing us some songs, and then the kids were each presented with a little diploma and a special trait of theirs was mentioned. Josiah was presented as someone who likes to be in charge and be the director of all activities (which can sometimes lead to trouble as the the teacher likes to be in charge too (his teacher said this with a great big grin--my strong willed, amazing little man)). He did great. He has a meet and greet tomorrow with the class that will be his kindergarten class. Most of them have been together this year in pre-k here at our local school, but he has been in preschool an hour away for a special needs program. He will be in a main stream classroom next year, and I think, after the initial adjustment to it, he will do extremely well.
Here are a couple of pics of him at his ceremony:
Here are a couple of pics from that day too (can you tell I replaced the batteries in my camera?):
I'll try to pick up our family story where I left off later this week. It is a bit of a crazy week though as it is the last week of regular school for the kids. Tomorrow after the meet and greet, J will have Kindergarten screening and I will have a meeting with the CSE people to finalize his IEP for the fall. Then Wednesday when G ends his last day, I will meet with his teacher and do a phone conference with our CSE to finalize his IEP now that he has had his adaptive technology assessment done (G has mild CP also and very delayed motor (both fine and gross motor) skills are extemely delayed). J has school thru Thursday. Then we have a school break from Friday until July 5th when the summer program starts for 6 weeks. I was hoping to get out to the Boston area during that break and visit friends and take the kids on a whale watch, but a check that I have been waiting for has not yet come. So, that will have to wait for a later time, Maybe in August after summer school ends.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
A continuation of this "Thinking..." series-part 4
So I last left off with Gonzo's adoption and finalization. He settled in nicely, we got set up with all the specialist he needed to see. The only two hiccups were that he was only a month away from his 3rd birthday when he came home, so there was no time to start early intervention, so he was without therapies until the beginning of July (for four months) while we waited for his special needs preschool placement to begin. The other hiccup was dental (seems to be a pattern as he are having a mess of a time getting J's dental work done now). But all in all, it was a smooth transition, getting back to work was easy, we found a great summer sitter for after school for G, and were able to alternate our schedules easily. I was even able to go to both a week long conference in Wisconsin in the Spring, and to work with colleagues in our fields in Illinois and Missouri in the summer, and fields in North Carolina in the early Fall (I worked in plant genomics and agriculture research at the time) Though I did miss out on the winter Puerto Rico trip due to changes that happened before winter.
All in all, we adjusted well to being a family of three, and things were going very smoothly, and we knew that we wanted to add another child to our family within the following 18 months after Gonzo's adoption was Final in July. As we learned it can take a long time to get an adoptive placement, we decided to update our home study that August, figuring that it would be at least the following Spring or Summer before we would be matched. We focused solely on the US this time, both public and private, and focused again on special needs and were approved for one or two children so that we could potentially adopt a young sibling pair or two singles. We really wanted to make sure there was at least 18 months in age between Gonzo and a sibling, so we really limited ourselves to looking for a child under the age of 2 1/2, which is very limiting in the US system unless you have a good nest egg for a private adoption. We had used up our nest egg and the cushion of a second mortgage with the legal battle for Gonzo, and so we were limited to low cost placements with close travel. We had begun to rebuild some savings specifically for adoption, but did not have a lot to go with. But we figured we had plenty of time before there was even the possibility of having to travel to meet a child, and then a couple of months after being matched to continue to prepare for the child (as that is how G's adoption played out and most other adoptions from foster care that I had heard of played out).
Even though Spence-Chapin's great special needs program was within our budget and travel range, we knew they require a year between placements, so there was no point in inquiring on their site until at least February (one year after G came home).
( Special Note: If you are a home-study ready family and interested in adopting an infant with special needs there is a beautiful baby boy who has been waiting at Spence-Chapin for nearly 6 months. Please check out Theo. If I was home-study ready, I would bend over backwards to add him to my family. But alas, I am not in the position to do so. )
Now back to our regular blog post: We renewed our home-study with Adoption Star's special needs infant program, and then just focused on the public listings both in and out of state, mainly through www.adoptUSkids.org the national photo-listing of kids waiting in foster care who are freed for adoption. If anyone is interested, a few years ago I wrote a couple of articles on how to use the US system to find a match and how to improve your chances of being selected. Those can be found here:
Tips for finding a Child
Proactive tips for a faster adoption match
So, we began sending our home-study and family profile out for children that felt would be a good match for us and we for them. One of the children was a little guy in CT who looked a lot like G and had similar issues, but he kept flitting on and off the lists. We came close on him, though he had family ties and decided that it was in his best interest to stay within an hour of his biological grandparents so that he could retain those ties, which is good for him. On was a little girl in NJ who was older than G (she was 5 1/2 at the time), but by enough that we felt it would work, who had CP and a few other issues. We actually got matched with her about a year later (after J came home), and found that upon review of her full disclosure that she was aggressive with children younger than her, and with G being only 3 and J being an infant with special needs, we decide that we were not ready to take on the risk. She is still waiting even now, to our sorrow, but we made the decision we knew we had to for the family setting we had at that time. If you think you may be a family match for her, please bring her home. Here is a link to her public page: Natasha age 10
One was a little girl, infant, in North Carolina's public system who had a number of issues which are just too long to list here, the primary one being hydroANencephaly (an issues we would become very familiar with a year later through a family member). We inquired on her and began asking around of the adoption and special needs groups to get an idea of what it would be like to parent a child with her list of issues (hydrocephalus, potentially deaf, potentially blind, decreased hypothamic activity, etc...). As we were talking to a number of people and researching her condition to figure out if she would be a good match for our family, we received an email from a fellow adoptive parent who knew of a baby with similar issues available through a private agency in PA. She sent us his recruiting flier and the information to contact the agency.
It was a Tuesday in October when we looked over his flier, and contacted the agency to express our interest in learning more. We faxed our home-study and family profile, and they faxed us his medical information. Being a private agency adoption he would not come with medical and special needs assistance the way that adopting from foster care provides. However, that night we called the adoption specialist in our county (who also went to our church so we knew her outside of adoption as well). She talked to us about the medicaid waiver program which we should be eligible for, to help with his medical care costs, and we should be eligible for SSDI as well for him, which would provide some extra funds to care for him. So, our primary concern at that point (the financial impact of adopting an infant with extensive medical needs) was alleviated by finding out about these programs that would help until we could the applications and such done for his adoptive assistance.
Side Note: The adoption assistance programs are in place to help families that are willing to adopt children with special needs. In the past (which still happens today more often that anyone likes), children with special needs were (are) put into institutional settings to manage their needs. The cost to the state/country for each child in an institutional setting is well over $5000 a month in addition to their medical costs (that is staff, feeding, etc...). Also, children do not have the stimulation of family and regular life, nor the advocacy ability of a loving family, in order to help them reach their full potential and become contributing members of society as much as they are able (which kids like my boys have full potential with the right early support to become completely self supporting adults with college degrees, jobs, families of their own, etc... a chance the would be greatly diminished is raised in an institutionalized setting). The cost of the children staying in foster care is less than $3000 a month plus medical (I can not remember where I got these estimates, I wrote it out when I got the info, but did not write the source down, I'll try to find it sometime). For adoption assistance for kids with high needs, most states give around $400-600 a month plus medicaid to supplement your family insurance to cover the kids additional needs (thus reducing the amount the state spends on medical care per child as your family insurance is primary and the medicaid support only covers what they do not). This gives people who have the heart and commitment to adopt kids who require more care and availability the financial boost to do so (as without it most people could not handle the additional costs of raising a child with special needs), while also saving the state and country more than ten times the funds per child for institutional care. AND the best part is that it gives the children a chance to grow up in loving families and a much better chance of becoming contributing members of society with full, active lives of their own. It is a win all around.
Now back to our post... So we decided that with the programs to help bridge us over until his adoption assistance would be accepted (or to use if he ended up not getting adoption assistance--it can be tricky with placements from a private agency), we decided on Wednesday that we would be happy to be his family. His needs were a bit daunting as he was a 28 week preemie who had already had heart surgery, had 2 massive brain bleeds, hydrocephalus, and a number of other issues. But something about him just felt right, so we stepped out and accepted him. The call we got after that kind of knocked our socks off. He was being released from the hospital on Monday and if we could please come down that weekend so we could do the training at the hospital for his care needs, then he could join our family directly. To learn more about his initial needs, please see this post from a couple of weeks ago which lists his pre-adoptive needs. Luckily Philadelphia was in driving distance, and they waived all of the placement fees for his adoption, and we flew into a tizzy. We both had to get time off from work (easier for me than for A as Cornell was an amazing place to work), scurried to get things together for an infant as we have not planned AT ALL on receiving a child that young. So an infant car seat, a bassinet, and some infant clothes, blankets, infant bottles, etc, etc... (how often do you have only 2 days to prepare for newborn (he was 2/12 months old but was such an extreme preemie that by the end of October was at a newborn size 7 pounds 2 oz and development level) especially since everything has to be washed in infant detergent and all that BEFORE he comes home).
So we got that all in place, and then left Friday morning (only 3 days after learning he existed). We got to the hospital around noon, met with the agency social worker, then got to go to the NICU to meet him and talk with the doctors and nurses. The agency social worker hung out with Gonzo while we were in the NICU itself as he was too young to be allowed in. We spent a lot of time talking with the doctors. His potential could have been anything, there was even a very slim chance he would have no issues when he grew up. But an extremely high chance (over 75%) that he would have severe spastic quad CP. There was a good chance that he would never roll over, never speak, maybe even never hold his own head up. There was a chance that he would be blind, and as he had failed 2 newborn hearing screenings, a chance that he was deaf.
I took G down for lunch with the social worker, and A stayed with the baby, we brought lunch back upstairs and we sat in the NICU waiting room and talked. That afternoon, sat down with the social workers, and signed the adoptive placement papers (as I mentioned previously, you have to have 6 months at least after placement before the legal adoption is finalized). So he was placed in our care. We went over to the hotel and had dinner together. Then A and Gonzo stayed at the hotel while I went back for the pre-arranged overnight training stay, where the baby, by now called Josiah by us though his legal name was "baby boy" and I had a private room so that I could care for him with all his monitors and such and the NICU was just a couple of doors down and a quick phone call away. It was a long night, and a lot to learn, but we managed it. Monday he was released into our care, and once the ICPC was done (luckily it was very fast and had been started the week before when we had declared our intent to adopt (not so much paperwork as with a public agency)) and we headed home with our new, beautiful, and medically fragile baby boy.
That is how Josiah first joined our family (and the real trials of life and death, hope and futility, fear and faith, love and sorrow, and all those other balances...) began..
All in all, we adjusted well to being a family of three, and things were going very smoothly, and we knew that we wanted to add another child to our family within the following 18 months after Gonzo's adoption was Final in July. As we learned it can take a long time to get an adoptive placement, we decided to update our home study that August, figuring that it would be at least the following Spring or Summer before we would be matched. We focused solely on the US this time, both public and private, and focused again on special needs and were approved for one or two children so that we could potentially adopt a young sibling pair or two singles. We really wanted to make sure there was at least 18 months in age between Gonzo and a sibling, so we really limited ourselves to looking for a child under the age of 2 1/2, which is very limiting in the US system unless you have a good nest egg for a private adoption. We had used up our nest egg and the cushion of a second mortgage with the legal battle for Gonzo, and so we were limited to low cost placements with close travel. We had begun to rebuild some savings specifically for adoption, but did not have a lot to go with. But we figured we had plenty of time before there was even the possibility of having to travel to meet a child, and then a couple of months after being matched to continue to prepare for the child (as that is how G's adoption played out and most other adoptions from foster care that I had heard of played out).
Even though Spence-Chapin's great special needs program was within our budget and travel range, we knew they require a year between placements, so there was no point in inquiring on their site until at least February (one year after G came home).
( Special Note: If you are a home-study ready family and interested in adopting an infant with special needs there is a beautiful baby boy who has been waiting at Spence-Chapin for nearly 6 months. Please check out Theo. If I was home-study ready, I would bend over backwards to add him to my family. But alas, I am not in the position to do so. )
Now back to our regular blog post: We renewed our home-study with Adoption Star's special needs infant program, and then just focused on the public listings both in and out of state, mainly through www.adoptUSkids.org the national photo-listing of kids waiting in foster care who are freed for adoption. If anyone is interested, a few years ago I wrote a couple of articles on how to use the US system to find a match and how to improve your chances of being selected. Those can be found here:
Tips for finding a Child
Proactive tips for a faster adoption match
So, we began sending our home-study and family profile out for children that felt would be a good match for us and we for them. One of the children was a little guy in CT who looked a lot like G and had similar issues, but he kept flitting on and off the lists. We came close on him, though he had family ties and decided that it was in his best interest to stay within an hour of his biological grandparents so that he could retain those ties, which is good for him. On was a little girl in NJ who was older than G (she was 5 1/2 at the time), but by enough that we felt it would work, who had CP and a few other issues. We actually got matched with her about a year later (after J came home), and found that upon review of her full disclosure that she was aggressive with children younger than her, and with G being only 3 and J being an infant with special needs, we decide that we were not ready to take on the risk. She is still waiting even now, to our sorrow, but we made the decision we knew we had to for the family setting we had at that time. If you think you may be a family match for her, please bring her home. Here is a link to her public page: Natasha age 10
One was a little girl, infant, in North Carolina's public system who had a number of issues which are just too long to list here, the primary one being hydroANencephaly (an issues we would become very familiar with a year later through a family member). We inquired on her and began asking around of the adoption and special needs groups to get an idea of what it would be like to parent a child with her list of issues (hydrocephalus, potentially deaf, potentially blind, decreased hypothamic activity, etc...). As we were talking to a number of people and researching her condition to figure out if she would be a good match for our family, we received an email from a fellow adoptive parent who knew of a baby with similar issues available through a private agency in PA. She sent us his recruiting flier and the information to contact the agency.
It was a Tuesday in October when we looked over his flier, and contacted the agency to express our interest in learning more. We faxed our home-study and family profile, and they faxed us his medical information. Being a private agency adoption he would not come with medical and special needs assistance the way that adopting from foster care provides. However, that night we called the adoption specialist in our county (who also went to our church so we knew her outside of adoption as well). She talked to us about the medicaid waiver program which we should be eligible for, to help with his medical care costs, and we should be eligible for SSDI as well for him, which would provide some extra funds to care for him. So, our primary concern at that point (the financial impact of adopting an infant with extensive medical needs) was alleviated by finding out about these programs that would help until we could the applications and such done for his adoptive assistance.
Side Note: The adoption assistance programs are in place to help families that are willing to adopt children with special needs. In the past (which still happens today more often that anyone likes), children with special needs were (are) put into institutional settings to manage their needs. The cost to the state/country for each child in an institutional setting is well over $5000 a month in addition to their medical costs (that is staff, feeding, etc...). Also, children do not have the stimulation of family and regular life, nor the advocacy ability of a loving family, in order to help them reach their full potential and become contributing members of society as much as they are able (which kids like my boys have full potential with the right early support to become completely self supporting adults with college degrees, jobs, families of their own, etc... a chance the would be greatly diminished is raised in an institutionalized setting). The cost of the children staying in foster care is less than $3000 a month plus medical (I can not remember where I got these estimates, I wrote it out when I got the info, but did not write the source down, I'll try to find it sometime). For adoption assistance for kids with high needs, most states give around $400-600 a month plus medicaid to supplement your family insurance to cover the kids additional needs (thus reducing the amount the state spends on medical care per child as your family insurance is primary and the medicaid support only covers what they do not). This gives people who have the heart and commitment to adopt kids who require more care and availability the financial boost to do so (as without it most people could not handle the additional costs of raising a child with special needs), while also saving the state and country more than ten times the funds per child for institutional care. AND the best part is that it gives the children a chance to grow up in loving families and a much better chance of becoming contributing members of society with full, active lives of their own. It is a win all around.
Now back to our post... So we decided that with the programs to help bridge us over until his adoption assistance would be accepted (or to use if he ended up not getting adoption assistance--it can be tricky with placements from a private agency), we decided on Wednesday that we would be happy to be his family. His needs were a bit daunting as he was a 28 week preemie who had already had heart surgery, had 2 massive brain bleeds, hydrocephalus, and a number of other issues. But something about him just felt right, so we stepped out and accepted him. The call we got after that kind of knocked our socks off. He was being released from the hospital on Monday and if we could please come down that weekend so we could do the training at the hospital for his care needs, then he could join our family directly. To learn more about his initial needs, please see this post from a couple of weeks ago which lists his pre-adoptive needs. Luckily Philadelphia was in driving distance, and they waived all of the placement fees for his adoption, and we flew into a tizzy. We both had to get time off from work (easier for me than for A as Cornell was an amazing place to work), scurried to get things together for an infant as we have not planned AT ALL on receiving a child that young. So an infant car seat, a bassinet, and some infant clothes, blankets, infant bottles, etc, etc... (how often do you have only 2 days to prepare for newborn (he was 2/12 months old but was such an extreme preemie that by the end of October was at a newborn size 7 pounds 2 oz and development level) especially since everything has to be washed in infant detergent and all that BEFORE he comes home).
So we got that all in place, and then left Friday morning (only 3 days after learning he existed). We got to the hospital around noon, met with the agency social worker, then got to go to the NICU to meet him and talk with the doctors and nurses. The agency social worker hung out with Gonzo while we were in the NICU itself as he was too young to be allowed in. We spent a lot of time talking with the doctors. His potential could have been anything, there was even a very slim chance he would have no issues when he grew up. But an extremely high chance (over 75%) that he would have severe spastic quad CP. There was a good chance that he would never roll over, never speak, maybe even never hold his own head up. There was a chance that he would be blind, and as he had failed 2 newborn hearing screenings, a chance that he was deaf.
I took G down for lunch with the social worker, and A stayed with the baby, we brought lunch back upstairs and we sat in the NICU waiting room and talked. That afternoon, sat down with the social workers, and signed the adoptive placement papers (as I mentioned previously, you have to have 6 months at least after placement before the legal adoption is finalized). So he was placed in our care. We went over to the hotel and had dinner together. Then A and Gonzo stayed at the hotel while I went back for the pre-arranged overnight training stay, where the baby, by now called Josiah by us though his legal name was "baby boy" and I had a private room so that I could care for him with all his monitors and such and the NICU was just a couple of doors down and a quick phone call away. It was a long night, and a lot to learn, but we managed it. Monday he was released into our care, and once the ICPC was done (luckily it was very fast and had been started the week before when we had declared our intent to adopt (not so much paperwork as with a public agency)) and we headed home with our new, beautiful, and medically fragile baby boy.
That is how Josiah first joined our family (and the real trials of life and death, hope and futility, fear and faith, love and sorrow, and all those other balances...) began..
And our Little Gonzo was a Big Brother now. One year after we met Gonzo, 9 months after he arrived home.
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