Well, today is one of those days. G finished up with school yesterday, but Jos still had a regular day today as his last day. I had to replace the rotors and pads on the front brakes. I actually bought the parts and my father was going to do it, but he could not get the rotors off. So I took it to the garage, and it ended up costing $112 JUST IN LABOR as I already gave them the parts for it. I also asked them to remount the tires on the front. as they are wearing unevenly and by switching them around you can get more mileage out of them before i have to come up with the money for new tires and an alignment. But they said they felt the tires were not good enough so they would not do it, which means I need to ask my brother if he can do it. And A's brake pads are completely down to the metal. I don't know why A let them get so far down. At this point the rotors will have to replaced too, when if the pads had been done a week ago, it would have only cost like $20 for the pads. I know it is not my vehicle and I have no reason to feel like it is going to come out of my pocket, but in the trickle down effect that I have from A, if something costs A money, I end up "lending" money for gas and other things to make up the difference. Normally I don't mind giving money to people as I know that in the end, if I need it, they will be there for me as I was for them. But lately I feel like with my ex, the fair exchange of favors has become very one sided. For a while, it was working out fine, I would lend A money to get to the next paycheck (weekly) and at the end of the month, A would get it back to me as I needed to stretch to my next paycheck (which is monthly), but lately the amount I give out and the amount I get back are getting further and further apart, which I can not afford. And A is getting more and more negative again, which just makes me want to scream, because I am trying to get away from the negativity in my life, not draw a whole bunch more in, especially when A has some really great prospects out there right now that should be bringing a MORE positive attitude and feelings. I suppose it goes back to choice, we each choose whether we focus on the negatives in our lives or on the positives. I guess today's post is more of a negative focus for me, from me.....something more for me to think about and adjust in my own attitude...
In order to drop the car off at the garage, I had to have A follow us down, and then ride with A to drop Jos off and then drop A off at work. Then Gonz and I had breakfast at the diner, and now we are hanging out at the library. Jos gets out of school at 1:45, but A does not get out of work until 8pm. So now I have to figure out how to pick up my car, as the garage closes before them.
It has just been one of those crazy, run around days. Gonz fell asleep in the car on the way to the bank. He was a bit difficult this morning for A in the ride down, but I think maybe he was just tired. I had to keep reminding the boys it was time to go to sleep last night, as they kept chattering away. An hour and a half after the lights were turned out I still had to go in and tell them it was time to stop talking and go to sleep. I had to threaten the removal of Jos' book in order to get them to finally stop. (the boys each have book and little led flashlight in their beds after lights out, but usually they settle down within a few minutes and I end up shutting off the little flashlights 30 minutes later when they are sleeping). So I think they were both tired this morning, and they also get affected by people's moods. And A was not is a good one this morning. Having to get to our house and leave 30 minutes early than usual added to it, but it is more about the job. Working on a total commission base is hard, especially when there is road construction in from of the dealership and thus very few customers. But A is also looking for a regular, full time position back in human services. overall pay is less, but it is more rewarding and the income much more stable. So A is going back to that hopefully. Then A can get an apartment and move out of my father's house, and start rebuilding a life. And I can get back to rebuilding my life more solidly as a single person.
So a sigh of relief, and I hope that A gets the new job and that it all works out. Well, I should spend some time with Gonz, who is playing a game on the computer next to me in the children's section of the library....
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