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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Day 81--Still breathing...

So, today was originally the day by which I had planned to move much closer to my weight loss goal, but alas, it is a slower process.  There is much that I started out with doing correctly, that I was unable to create a good habit with.  And many other things that I have done well that are improving my life as a whole:

WALKING:  I am walking 1-2 miles almost every weekday, which is a huge plus all around.  It helps keep the muscles in my legs feeling good, it helps strengthen my heart and lungs, it releases tension throughout my body, it uses some of my excess stored energy, it helps my body be better at using insulin, and it helps me clear my mind and have a stronger sense of peace. 

BETTER FOOD CHOICES: I have cut out a significant portion of fast food from my weekly diet.  For a while I was having a McD meal at least 4-5 times a week (not good health wise or $$ wise). And now I only go to the golden arches about once a month.  I have been eating more yogurt and oatmeal, and less sausage egg and Cheese sandwiches.  I still need to continue this transition, but it is in a good progress.  I'd say I am past the half and half mark, so the oatmeal/yogurt or small bagel/yogurt is beginning to be predominate.  I am much more likely to be eating turkey on WW with a piece of fruit or a V8 for lunch instead of greasy burgers and fries (which also helps in the $$ department as it is so much easier to bring my lunch).  I am getting 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables everyday.  I am drinking at least 10 cups of water every day.

FEELING BETTER:  I am feeling better--about myself, my body, my life, and my overall situation.  Even though there are still many things not where I would like them to be, the past 80 days of focusing on transformation have been very beneficial on my perspective.  I may not have lost 80 pounds in 80 days.  But I am 20 pounds lighter than when I started this journey, but more that the 20 pounds, I feel better about my body.  I have more energy than I did, I mentally feel more lovable and real again, and overall, I appreciate all of the amazing things that my body does.  I have even been taking steps to take better care of my self inside and out.  I got contacts again which I wear about 1/2 the time, and I feel better when I do because I love my eyes, and I appreciate them.  I got my hair cut into a totally different style last week, and I love it because it is fresh and new, not the same style I have had most of my life (I mean seriously, I have had the same hairstyle (a bob) 90% of the time since I was 5 years old  with only short jumps into other styles, so this hair cut is new for me).

BETTER FRUIT:  I am bearing better fruit now than I was 80 days ago.  My children are happier and more at peace because I am happier and  more at peace (it is amazing how that works).  I am applying for real jobs again, and have regained the confidence that I need to trust myself to be able to have a real, full time, higher paying, more responsibility laden job again.  And not only applying, but actually looking forward to working and having colleagues again.  I trust that my kids will be okay without me having to 100% available for them at all times. My faith is increasing, and my desire to really rebuild my relationship with my God is growing.  So much as happened over the past few years, and I feel like I have been walking around in the dark, bumping into things, and now I feel like I have found the light switch.  My exploration of God and different spiritual and philosophical paths are coming back into an actual way of life again, rather than just something to study.  I am more at peace, more joyful, more faithful, more patient, more kind, more loving, and have more self control.  I am working towards being a good person in my daily walk, and re-developing the gentleness that I used to have in abundance.  I feel like a tree that had been going barren for a while, but now those fruits are beginning to grow again, slowly but surely.  And I have gotten into a better mental, emotional, physical,and spiritual place from which I can tend my tree of life so that it can bear strong, wholesome fruit.  I can feel God again, not just knowing in my head, but knowing in my heart.

There are still may things I need to work on.

For the weight loss, I need to continue to change my habits from eating unhealthy things to eating healthy ones.  I need to take on and tackle the problems I have with portion control, as that is probably one of the biggest culprits in my weight battle. I need to work on the timing of my eating as well. I need to continue to increase my physical activity levels, and add in some more muscle building and aerobic work.

For my financial health, I need to continue to find income generating opportunities, and hopefully one of the jobs that I have interviewed for will turn into a job.  I also need to continue to make good financial decisions, and not let myself get swayed by others or by wants that are not needs, or wants that are not practical at the moment (I have no problem with wanting and getting what you want, but it has to be within reason given current situations).

For spiritual health, I will continue my studies and exploration of what others have found helpful and will continue to incorporate various spiritual practices into my daily life, keeping what brings me closer to God and leaving behind those which are not right for me. 

For mental/emotional health, I will get back to my exploration of EFT and other tapping techniques, as they are extremely helpful in reducing stress and overcoming emotional blocks.  Also, i will return to my commitment to do meditation on a daily basis, and would like to incorporate some movement and sound based techniques that I have heard are very centering.

So I hope you will continue to follow me on my next 80 days of transformative path walking.  Yes I often take baby steps, and sometimes even take a coupe of steps int eh wrong direction, but overall, it is an amazing journey (at least for me).

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