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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Life is sstill good...but....

Have you ever noticed that when a child is exhibiting challenging behavior, the school is quick to blame the parents.  But then when the child's behavior improves, the school pats themselves on the back about what a great job they are doing, with no credit given to the parents for the good behavior.  And then if that same child has a challenging week after a period of good, come then call that they need to talk about what is going on at home, because of course if it is bad behavior it must be because the parents SUCK.  I am sure they don't consciously think that, but that is essentially what happens, and the message it conveys:

Good child=Good Teacher, Bad Child= Bad Parent

Forget the fact that he did not exhibit these behaviors until he started school with them.
Forget that nothing significant has changed at home recently to prompt behaviorally negative reactions.

Forget that when his behavior improved there was never a call home that said "He is doing great!  What has changed at home to bring about such positive behavior changes?  lets meet to discuss what can we do to understand why he is doing well, so that we can keep it going."

But give him a few days of poor behavior and we get the call about needing a meeting.  Because obviously if he is having a bad week, it must be something the parent is doing wrong.  A child is not allowed to just have a bad week.

I just am at a loss.  I have no idea why he had a bad week last week, or had a rough start to yesterday.  He has been sleeping fine.  Last week I though tit was because he had a bad bout of constipation, but we resolved that and he is "going" fine again.  He has been eating fine, sleeping fine, a little clingy maybe, definitely a little more on edge, but I am not sure why.  Perhaps his body is fighting off a cold, but he has no cold symptoms.  Perhaps he is frustrated with something.  Perhaps he is just human, and we all have weeks that we just are  more grumpy than other weeks, without really knowing why.  I am just so tired of not only dealing with trying to help Josiah over whatever hump it is, but having to deal with the additional stress of school personnel who seem to think that something I am doing is the cause.  I am tired of the whole school sh*t.  He is not a child that institutionalizes well, which actually bodes very well for his adult life and his ability to someday be able to think for himself, to be creative and become someone amazing--As long as they don't beat that out of him by trying to jam him into a round peg hole when he does not conform like a little drone. "yes, teacher" "no, teacher" "flowers are always red teacher, I understand" "leaves are always green teacher".  A big part of the problem Josiah is having this year is that he sees all of the colors of the rainbow, all of the colors of the rising sun, all of the colors of the flowers.... 

He is frustrated...AND THEY DON'T GET THAT!!

Last week I said that maybe he is just having a period of time where he is frustrated by his limitations, and no one can do anything to reduce those limitations.  So sometimes it comes out in various ways, he is not always going to intellectualize it and say, "boy I am feeling frustrated this week about my physical limitations."

He just knows he is tired of not being able to do what he sees other people doing.  To me, that would sometime rear its head and give me an underlying grumpiness, even if I did not consciously acknowledge it.  but they said "no, no he has not expressed that at all"  completely missing the point of what I was saying.

God i am glad I had teachers when I was a child who, for the most part, could see the person in the child (aside from my third grade teacher who was just a monster).  But anyway, I am done with my rant.  I am hoping that things improve very soon.

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