This is the longest break I think I have taken from blogging since I started this blog nearly a year ago.
So, I have been working a lot of the house, renovations seems to go so slowly. But we had the framing inspector come and he approved what has been done so far. So that is a good thing. I am still hopeful that somehow we will be able to be done by March 13th so we can be moved in by March 15th, which is when I have to be out of my apartment. It is coming along...I have faith that we will make it by the deadline.
Josiah showed some improvement during the remainder of that last week of school before the winter break. We have been working on reducing any potential bad behavior influence in case that is exacerbating the problem. Like I wrote last time, we have eliminated SpongeBob for the time being as so many of the rude things he was saying was coming from there. A and I evaluated video games and we discovered that the Hulk game they got for Christmas has a lot of "I'm gonna make you die" and "I'll break your neck sucker." and similar phases, we have decided to remove all superhero video games (and any superhero shows) for a while until the kids are able to understand that you just can NOT say those kinds of things outside of a video game. So essentially the kids 2 dimensional entertainment has been truncated to much more wholesome shows of their choosing--mainly Veggie Tales, Go Diego Go, Thomas the Train, Up, Curious George, etc.... and video games mainly racing games like Mario Cart, and WII play, MonkeyBall, and Sonic. the do have other games (Nemo, Dora, Madagascar, etc...) that they can play too.
In addition we have been working together on self-control techniques, reducing "freak out" behavior, super praising positive and wanted behavior and actions. The kids are being more responsible in cleaning up after themselves, which has been great, as Gonzo had been doing well with it, but Josiah had just been refusing to do it. And now they have both been helping, and HAPPY about it. Josiah, with verbal persuasion, actually wore his glasses for HOURS today, without complaining after the first 10 minutes. As he is supposed to wear them 6 plus hours a day, it is great to finally have some compliance in this area. I am hoping that as he returns to school next week, his good behavior and compliant behavior (I have been using a combination of collaborative problem solving, where he and I talk about a problem and decide together on a solution), and basic "I'm the mom and I love you so you need to do this. It is good for you because XYZ". Gonzo, as usual, is more problematic for me at home than he is a school, and so using the collaborative problem solving has been somewhat effective, but as soon as another person is in the mix, he becomes Mr. defiant and nastily rude to me about some things. Overall there has been some improvement in this area, but Mr. bossy and I still butt heads from time to time, which usually includes a lot of melodrama on his part. Overall though, this vacation has seen the kids working and playing well together, and having some good family moments.
I have been working on a few things in myself these past couple of weeks as well. To reduce stress I have been trying to do a guided mediation a few times a week, and it has been helpful, as well as some other centering exercises. I have also been trying to move my body more. I had mentioned previously that I am connecting socially with people in a neat virtual world called Second Life. They have an extremely wide variety of different sim worlds there, and so I pick and choose. I have found a couple of DJ music clubs and you can dance animate your avatar (the representation of yourself in the virtual world). So some nights I have decided to imitate my avatar with the dance moves. It has been fun! Though of course I close the shades, as I really don't think anyone wants to see me dancing around my living room. But it is a good workout, with great music and a lot of fun.
The next couple of weeks will be full of working on the house, packing the apartment, and praying that everything comes together in time....
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