Ya Know.....even when life it stressful, life is still good. There have been a great many things lately that I have been thinking about, which seems to always be my state of being...I am a thinker....I think ALL the time...and I enjoy thinking.
Thinking is not the same as worrying...or stressing....or anything that adds negativity to my life.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about many of the experiences currently in my life that do not resonate with my inner being, those things which do not feel good to me on a deeper sense. A couple of weeks ago I defined some of those things in my post "Relieving Stress........!?!". I have been focusing on what feeling I WANT to have and imagining what experiences would help to bring those feelings into my daily life experience. I had detailed some of those in the post I mentioned, and have actively been working on allowing those experiences to enter my reality, doing what I can to open the door to experiencing better feeling things.
So this is the list of experiences I am opening my life to as per the post on February 1, and the ways in which things are moving in the right direction mentioned under each one:
1) The funds to have a smooth transition over the next couple of months
--Funds were generously donated that has greatly helped towards this goal...allowing me and the kids to remain in our apartment for another month while we finish the house, which will give us a much smoother transition overall. Some of the funds also helped alleviate some of the stress around a particular problem that I had not budgeted for and was completely unexpected....so yes, it is a hit that will impact my ability to buy flooring, it is far less stressful because the funds to cover it are available.
2) The house completed with CO in hand, and a smooth move into our new place
--With this I am just continuing to breathe and be grateful for whatever help is given in moving the project closer to completion. Every little bit helps, and it is coming together. I just have to focus on the finished project and know that it will be done in time to make a smooth move over there prior to the Ides of March.
3) A consistent, regular income to support my family
--This I am learning to be patient with this, knowing that as the house is nearing completion I will soon be able to have my inspections and open the childcare center.
4) Pets that behave and find non-destructive ways to express themselves
--Well, they have been behaving better...
5) A vehicle that is in good working order and stays that way
--My car is now repaired and inspected, thanks to my step father. I am very glad to have this nice blue sticker on my windshield that says my car is safe and legal.
6) A consistent sleep each night that allows my body, mind, and spirit its needed rest
--I'm thinking about how to work on this one, stayed up late last night thinking about this one (haha...just kidding). I'll get there someday.....
7) A more mindful approach to eating healthy and nourishing my body in healing ways
--I have reduced the amount of processed food that were in my grocery cart last week (almost none--just cereal, granola bars, and goldfish crackers--all for the kids, and a few cans of soup and stuff) and increased the amount of fresh and frozen vegetables. I have also started drinking my green smoothies (Click) for breakfast again with 2 oz of lean turkey on the side. I think I am going to stick with the simple blending I did today and only add other flavors once in a while. The simple and fine tasting smoothie recipe is: 2 stalks celery, 1 1/2 cups chopped kale, 1 medium size apple, 3 Tbs lemon Juice, 1 Tbs Flax seed, 1 Tbs Spirulina, 5 ice cubes, and 10 oz water. Blend to desired consistency and then drink (today I did not blend enough and had to eat part of it with a spoon as it was very dense). The taste is not bad, and once you get used to it it tastes pretty good. But it makes you feel great. That is a lot of raw plant matter, which has lots of nutrients---very refreshing!!! I am also going back to following a more calorie reduced diet (1800 calories) with limited processed carbohydrates (no bread, crackers, pasta, other processed grains--only rice, oats, potatoes, corn--whole food grains), and unprocessed meats or legumes. I have gotten away from focusing on my physical health, and being overweight, not eating right, not exercising really does have an effect on everything in life. If my body does not feel good, my attitude is poorer, my patience is thinner, my ability to visualize is weaker, and my overall sense of well being is muted. So I am bringing physical health back into the forefront for a while.
8) developing a few close friendships with people who live nearby
--I have been doing a little family therapy with the boys once a week for the past 4 weeks, and the therapist also runs an over eaters/emotional eaters therapy group. I think I am going to start going to that, and meet some people who struggle with some of the things I struggle with so we can move out of it. I am hoping that this will also help to make friendship connections with one or two of the women in the group.
9) Arranging the necessary child care and time to find a social outlet that meets regularly
--Still working on this, A has been great about taking the kids so that I can work on the house or go to appointments. I think I am going to try to arrange that whatever day the over eaters group is on, that the kids stay with A for that night and get on the bus there in the morning, so that I can find a more socially oriented group or club to join down in the little city without having to rush back (the city is an hour away, so evening groups or meeting normally do not work out for me).
10) Creating time and space in my day and mind to replenish and further develop my Spiritual self.
--I have found an interesting online community (its called Second Life) that offers a LOT of different things, most of which I have no desire to explore. I have never really been interested in joining a virtual reality world, as some of the things I have read and seen about them are pretty out there. And while this one does have some really out there stuff, it also has some really great and down to earth people and places. One of the things they do have are some great spiritual places where I can connect with others on similar spiritual paths for conversation, as well as libraries in world that have great spiritual guidance works, places for meditation, and just overall a way to release and explore. I also have done some socializing on other parts of the community (it is like a whole new world, with a wide variety of destinations, themes, games, and ways to connect). I have actually met one person who is a great conversationalist, and I have enjoyed building on online friendship. It has been a while since I have had such stimulating conversation--philosophy, human nature, the power of mind, great books, society in general--we have conversed on a large number of topics. I doubt we will be able to have conversation over coffee anytime in the near future as she and her husband live in France. But it has been great getting to know her and having great conversation, it releases a lot of tension and frees my spirit.
So, yeah....I have been thinking, and following those thought up with action. Life is what we make it, and the way we perceive it. I am continuing to improve both my perception of my life and the experiences that set forth to bring into my life. Every day is a new day to begin again, and move forward....
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