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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Some days... and labor pains

Some days you just feel sad....and hopeless....and alone...

Helpless in the face of alcoholism (someones in my life not my own)
Helpless in the face of brain damage and behaviors stemming from it (in my kids)
Helpless in the face of too little income with too many bills...prices keep going up and income was too little to meet basic needs before now....
Helpless in the face of disease and disorders (diabetes not coming under control even with focus, eating/exercise changes, medications, doctors, etc...)

Transformation seems like a pipe dream on days like these...

Faith is waning, optimism is at a low....

feeling like I need a miracle to come from the outside because the inner circles of my life are just on a downward spiral into depression...

But at least I know that all things come to an end...both the good and the bad, nothing lasts forever, so I am confident, even in my feelings of sadness,hopelessness, and helplessness, that this too shall come to an end that things will start on an upward track again.  I feel like I am in labor (with a new life of my own instead of a baby), some moments being able to look forward with hope and faith and joy at the life I am birthing through my struggles, and at other moments completely crushed by the pains of the contractions. Today is a full on contraction labor pain day of this life transformation....the baby of a new life must be arriving soon!



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