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Monday, March 14, 2011

Day 1--Off to an odd start....

Well, here it is Monday March 14th, and Day 1 of my 80 pounds in 80 days endeavour. I am off to an odd start, as between the time change (and thus my brain screaming for the snooze bar when I needed to get up) and an overall lifestyle of disorganization, I can not say I have had a healthy start.

It is almost 11:00am as I write this (no 10am, 10am--stupid time change, my brain is not yeat ready for it to be an hour later). As part of my journey, I have dedicated myself to writing down every thing I eat each day. So for the first post of the day:

At 7:15 am, I had a graham cracker in the car while driving the boys to school (I normally don't eat their morning snack, but for some reason I was particularly hungry this morning). I also drank about 8 oz of water on the hour long drive to school

At 9:00am after having dropped off each boy at their respective school (and called our school district to try to get their CSE meetings scheduled this month so that I know if either one will be back home, or if I am just going to MOVE closer to the current programs) I went to Dunkin Donuts, which I really should not have as both health wise and money wise it is not good, but I did not bring my breakfast like I had been planning (see above referenced disorganization). So I ordered a sausage, egg, and cheese on a multigrain bagel (no I didn't think that made it healthy, they were just out of the sesame bagels that I like, and most other bagels as well, and the multigrain bagel is REALLY tasty) and a medium coffee with cream and 1 sugar.

Now, since most readers don't know me, one of the reasons I am as large as I am is that I am an emotional eater (ie I eat to stuff down uncomfortable emotions). Had I not called the school and brought up all sorts of old fears, frustration, and just outright anger, I would have perhaps made a more healthy choice. But alas, I ams till working on finding a more healthy coping skill for those uncomfortable emotions. I know some of you are wondering why I don't just express them. Well in this case, expressing my emotions about the challenges in finding an agreeable compromise to schooling my children BEFORE the meeting even has taken place would have been counterproductive at best and extremely destructive at the worst. I do have to actually work together with the school administration to make sure we are all keeping the best interest of my boys and thier potetial classmates in mind. I am not one of those paretns that only looks at what my child needs, but I also try to look at what the other kids in the class may need and how my child's needs affect their needs.   G is the hardest as autism and behavioral issues are at the center of his issues, and for J it is mainly physical challenges--but both boths have the cognitive potential to go on to be fully independent and fully functional contributing members of society as adults (college, career, family, make the world a better place, etc...).  Its just the challenges of working with a system that is not truly set up to accomadate thier extra needs in an educational environment so that they can reach that point that is frustrating at times. 

On a different note,  I do actaully have a handful of more healthy methods of dealing with my old, pent up emotions from last year's school decisions (long story). So after I scarfed down my breakfast sandwich, I did go walk around a store for a while (the snow is still WAY too deep to find an outside area to walk--Come On Spring), and then watched my visualizations tool (Planet Earth Forever, Secret to You, & Secret to Riches from, I had to watch them twice as my brain kept wandering back to negativity, which is always counterproductive to a happy and healthy life.  I tried to do some deeep breathign exercises, which always help reduce stress.  But meditation was out of the question today as my mind is WAY to wired to calm down enough to enter an alpha or theta brain wave state.  Its one of those days that I feel like I am superman with underwear made of green kryptonite...  So much potentail....

Anyway, I need to get some work done before I have to go get groceries, pick up the kids, and drive home, so I should get off this blog, and do some actual for pay writing. I will post again later with my food journaling for my other meals. In the meantime, have a glorious day...(and don't eat your anger like I do, nothing easy or healing can come from it...)

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