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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 2--mid day posting, some rambling, some food to report

Okay so a somewhat productive  morning, but I did spend some time discussing pi vs tau with my best friend from college.  Pi is my favorite mathematical constant, and there is a bit of a movement to use tau instead of pi when teaching about geometry, as tau=2pi (sorry for the lack of actual symbols).  Anyway, it was an interesting (and short) discussion of that amazing constant pi.  I guess it could be considered productive, as it brought some joy and fun to my morning, and joy is ALWAYS a step in the right direction.  So, revise my initial statement--I had a productive morning!!

Anyway, I got accepted into writing for Writers Access as a freelance level 3 writer, so I will be able to get some assignments through them for some income.  It takes a while to get a freelance writing gig up to the point that it can support a family.  I am hoping by the end of June to have built my reputation and skills up enough to actual bring in a decent income.  So being accepted at a level 3 (out of 5) is a good step, as it gives me chance to build up to a five, and thus have access to more lucrative assignments.  If I can get a few more freelance places to accept me, I should be able to build up to the point of not needing to get another source of outside income by the time this transportation gig ends in mid-August.  I will continue to write for Associated Content now that I have gotten back into it, and will continue to update my website ( and this blog, as those I do for me, and doing things like contributing to the world by sharing my life, insights, and ideas brings me great joy and increases my overall wellbeing, so that is more important than the income in the long run.  (Don't get me wrong, making sure I can support my family is extremely important).

Okay so, now for the food journaling for the mid portion of the day.  For lunch I had a bottle of water, a 12 oz container of my homemade chicken and rice with white beans and carrots soup, and 2 cheese sticks. I had to eat the soup cold because I have nowhere to heat it up, but it was still tasty even cold.  I also had a handful of salty almonds for a snack.

After picking up J and heading for G's school, I was reminded that I am not a good mother sometimes.  You see, Sunday was G's b-day party, which we had at party palace in the mall.  J likes to ride on those little machines you put the quarters in at the mall, and he had asked if he could ride the helicopter.  I told him that on the way out we would stop if we had time, and he could ride the helicopter.  Well, by the time we got out of the party palace, we were running late, as A was riding with us and had dropped the Jeep off at work, so that we could all ride together, and A had to be to work soon after the party.  So we had to drop A off at work and there was no time for him to ride.  I promised him that after I picked him up from school on Monday, we would stop over at the mall and he could ride the helicopter before picking up G (we have a spare 20 minutes in addition to travel time that we can use, and J's school is very  near the mall).  Scatter brained as I can be sometimes, I forgot all about it on Monday, and I think he did too until after dinner when he brought it up.  I told him to remind me for today, and that I was very sorry that I forgot.  Well this morning on the way to school he reminded me about the helicopter, and I filed it away in my brain sure I would remember.  But alas when I picked him up from school, i forgot again.  We headed out and got on the highway.  20 minutes later as we are getting off the highway, he asks me if we are almost to the helicopter.  My heart broke, he trusted that that is where we are going as he HAD reminded me in the morning.  And by that time, we did not have time to go back down and get back in time to pick G up from school.  When I told him this and apologies profusely for breaking my promise, he looked so sad.  Not that temper tantrum kind of sad, or that bratty screaming sad.  This was real, heartfelt, sad disappointment.  He accepted it, but I feel like I lost his trust, and that makes me feel very ashamed.  Never promise a child something unless you can carry through, broken promises can hurt for a long, long time.  And the loss of trust lasts even longer.  I will take him to the helicopter tomorrow; I can't believe I forgot today again.  But I could see it in his eyes, it will take some work on my end to get him to trust what I promise again.  I try to be very careful with that, and this time I blew it.  I pray that he can forgive me and learn again to trust that what i say i am going to do is what I am going to do.  Well, I have to make dinner for the us, I'll blog briefly again later.

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